[00:00:00] Skinny people have it so easy. Have you ever thought that?

[00:00:05] Maybe while watching someone eat the burger, the fries, the chips, the dessert, all while fitting effortlessly into the jeans we wish we could wear.

[00:00:14] And here we are trying so hard, counting, tracking, restarting, promising this time it’s going to be different,

[00:00:21] and it feels like they’ve got the body, the easy metabolism, the easy appetite, the easy life.

[00:00:29] So no wonder envy shows up.

[00:00:31] But here’s the problem.

[00:00:33] That envy doesn’t hurt them, it hurts us.

[00:00:38] It can make us feel like a victim of food and a victim of a world where everyone else seems to have it easier.

[00:00:45] So today on Thin Thinking, we’re exploring three ways to end the envy that sabotages your weight loss,

[00:00:52] and how to turn resentment into power, comparison into curiosity, and why bother into I’ve got this.

[00:01:01] So come on in.

[00:01:04] Did you know that our struggle with weight doesn’t start with the food on your plate or get fixed in the gym? 80% of our weight struggle is mental.

[00:01:15] That’s right.

[00:01:16] The key to unlocking long-term weight release and management begins in your mind.

[00:01:21] Hi there.

[00:01:22] I’m Rita Black.

[00:01:23] I’m a clinical hypnotherapist, weight loss expert, best-selling author, and the creator of the Shift Weight Mastery process.

[00:01:31] And not only have I helped thousands of people over the past 20 years achieve long-term weight mastery,

[00:01:38] I am also a former weight struggler, carb addict, and binge eater.

[00:01:43] And after two decades of failed diets and fad weight loss programs, I lost 40 pounds with the help of hypnosis.

[00:01:50] Not only did I release all that weight, I have kept it off for 25 years.

[00:01:56] Enter the Thin Thinking podcast where you too will learn how to remove the mental roadblocks that keep you struggling.

[00:02:03] I’ll give you the thin thinking tools, skills, and insights to help you develop the mindset you need,

[00:02:09] not only to achieve your ideal weight, but to stay there long-term and live your best life.

[00:02:18] Hello, hello everyone.

[00:02:19] Welcome and come on in.

[00:02:22] And if you’ve ever been visited by the green-eyed monster of envy or jealousy, you are especially welcome here today.

[00:02:31] We welcome green-eyed monsters on this podcast, so pull up a chair.

[00:02:35] You are among friends.

[00:02:37] Because envy is one of those emotions we don’t always love to admit out loud, right?

[00:02:43] Recently inside my membership, we were doing some work around emotional conditioning, learning how to process emotions instead of just getting hijacked by them.

[00:02:53] And one of the things we talked about is how there are these big umbrella emotions like anger, sadness, guilt, resentment,

[00:03:02] and then underneath the lid of those emotions, there are all these other smaller, more specific feelings.

[00:03:10] And here’s the interesting thing, when you start naming what you are really feeling, your nervous system actually begins to calm down.

[00:03:19] Just FYI, naming it helps tame it.

[00:03:23] And I bring that up because I try to stay aware of what is lurking underneath my own feelings and emotions.

[00:03:29] And I will tell you, of all the emotions I feel a little shame to name, envy and jealousy are right up there.

[00:03:37] I admit it, sometimes I’m envious of people, places, and things. I’ll walk by somebody’s garden in my neighborhood and think,

[00:03:44] “Good grief, why can’t my garden look like that?”

[00:03:47] Or someone I know will go on some fabulous holiday and I’ll think,

[00:03:51] “Well, isn’t that nice for you,” while I’m over here dealing with my to-do list and my life.

[00:03:57] And of course, in the world of weight struggle, envy has a very specific flavor.

[00:04:03] It sounds like, “Why do skinny people have it so easy?

[00:04:07] Why can they eat the pizza and the fries and the dessert and not seem to pay for it?

[00:04:12] Why do I have to think about it every bite, every calorie, every pound, every Monday morning restart?

[00:04:17] Why is it so easy for them and so hard for me?”

[00:04:22] And honestly, I get it.

[00:04:24] That feeling can feel very real.

[00:04:27] It can feel very justified. It can even feel like the truth.

[00:04:32] But here’s the problem, envy can take a hold of us in ways we don’t always see.

[00:04:38] And when envy turns into resentment and resentment turns into resignation, it can quietly start working against us.

[00:04:46] This has become very present for me recently for a couple of reasons.

[00:04:50] Well, first of all, I have not been sleeping well.

[00:04:54] And yes, I’m currently envious of all my friends who seem to be able to sleep like normal human beings, including my husband who can sleep through anything.

[00:05:05] But I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night and having a really hard time getting back to sleep.

[00:05:10] And ironically, what has been helping me lately has not been meditation or sleep hypnosis.

[00:05:16] No, it has been listening to Charlie Munger of Berkshire Hathaway or Warren Buffett talk about investing and money.

[00:05:24] Now, I happened upon them on YouTube and I thought, “Well, this sounds dull enough.

[00:05:29] Maybe if I listen to these guys yammer on about investing, I’ll bore myself right back to sleep.”

[00:05:35] And for a few nights it worked beautifully.

[00:05:38] Charlie Munger especially was my favorite sleep aid.

[00:05:43] But then one morning, I was awake enough to actually listen to what he was saying, and he was talking about the psychology of money.

[00:05:53] And let me tell you, the psychology of money is very similar to the psychology of weight mastery.

[00:05:59] And one of the things Charlie Munger said was that envy is one of the big reasons people make terrible financial decisions.

[00:06:08] See someone else winning at the investing game, making money on some hot stock or opportunity, and instead of staying in their own lane and following their own sound strategy, they react emotionally.

[00:06:20] They chase. They compare.

[00:06:22] They act out of envy. And often, they lose.

[00:06:27] And I thought, “Well, isn’t this interesting?”

[00:06:31] Because that’s what happens with weight sometimes.

[00:06:35] We see someone else who seems to have it easier, someone who seems to eat whatever they want, someone who never appears to struggle,

[00:06:43] and instead of staying in our own lane, working on our own process, trusting our own path, we collapse into it’s not fair.

[00:06:54] And that thought may feel innocent enough, but it can become very expensive.

[00:07:00] Not financially expensive, of course, but emotionally expensive, weight mastery expensive, self-trust expensive.

[00:07:08] Because when we believe they have it easy and I have it hard, that can turn into why bother?

[00:07:16] And why bother is where we start giving our power away.

[00:07:20] Then also, as I was looking at some research around envy, resentment, resignation, and weight struggle,

[00:07:27] I saw the same idea showing up again, that negative comparison and the feeling that effort won’t pay off can become part of what drives people to let go of themselves or give up on their weight journey altogether.

[00:07:41] So today, I am bringing back an episode I recorded a couple of years ago about skinny people envy, because this topic just keeps coming up.

[00:07:50] It’s been coming up in my own life, in my listening to Charlie Munger at 3:00 AM life, in research,

[00:07:57] and in the rumblings of what I hear from clients, students, and members of our Thin Thinking community.

[00:08:03] And I really hope this episode serves you, because inside it, I’m gonna share three strategic ways to let go of skinny people envy so you can take your power back.

[00:08:14] And as Mr. Charlie Munger might say if he were talking about weight mastery instead of investing, the people who win are not always the flashiest people, the luckiest people, or the people chasing what everybody else is doing.

[00:08:28] The people who win are the people who manage their emotions, stay with their strategy, and don’t let envy pull them off course.

[00:08:37] So now before we dive into the episode, I wanna let you know that we are on the tail end of my free masterclass, How to Stop the Start Over Weight Struggle Cycle and Begin Releasing Weight For Good.

[00:08:48] There is a fabulous weight release hypnosis session inside just waiting for you.

[00:08:53] Yes, you. So please come and sign up.

[00:08:56] It’s easy. www.shiftweightmastery.com/free.

[00:09:00] Www.shiftweightmastery.com/free.

[00:09:06] These are the final days, so come sign up, join me, and break through the roadblocks that have been keeping you struggling.

[00:09:13] I promise you, you are gonna learn some powerful things that can help you create a real breakthrough.

[00:09:18] So come on and join us. Okay.

[00:09:23] And now let’s get on with letting go of that envy.

[00:09:27] But I wanna dive into this today because I really do believe that our resentment only hurts us more and keeps us in a place of weight struggle.

[00:09:38] So I’m gonna kind of unpack this a little bit.

[00:09:41] First of all, it’s just, like why do we hate skinny people so much?

[00:09:45] Well, they can eat whatever they want and never gain weight, right?

[00:09:50] The bastards. How dare they?

[00:09:54] And this is a pretty commonly held belief by all of us who are not so naturally blessed, not so naturally skinny.

[00:10:03] And look at how this belief about skinny people can, like I said, keep us in our weight struggle.

[00:10:10] So let’s talk about our struggler identity.

[00:10:15] I’ve talked about this on the podcast before, but I’m gonna bring it back, first of all, for those of you who haven’t heard me talk about our identity.

[00:10:23] But, it’s always important to remember that in our subconscious mind, one of the highest level things in our subconscious mind is our identity, and we all have lots of identities, you know?

[00:10:34] I’m a Southern Californian, I’m a mom, I’m a hypnotherapist, I’m a former weight struggler, I’m a weight master, I am a gardener.

[00:10:45] I’m a dog owner.

[00:10:46] I’m a lot of things, and all of those things kind of swirl together in my subconscious mind and create my idea of me.

[00:10:52] Now, when we struggle with our weight, we live in this world of weight struggle, and weight struggler is one of our identities.

[00:10:59] You might not consciously be saying, “I am a weight struggler,” but we see ourselves in a particular way,

[00:11:05] and it’s usually not as a skinny person living their life out in the world.

[00:11:10] We see ourselves as struggling, and usually we are holding on to hard-held beliefs, right?

[00:11:17] And over time, our struggler identity grows, and we collect evidence for this identity and this kind of weight struggle world we live in.

[00:11:26] Like, I don’t have a good metabolism, and I have a huge appetite,

[00:11:32] or I can’t eat the food I love because it makes me fat,

[00:11:36] or it’s hard for me to lose weight,

[00:11:39] or, you know, I hear people say all, all the time like, “I eat one thing and I gain 10 pounds,”

[00:11:43] or, “I look at food and I gain weight.”

[00:11:47] And then there comes skinny people, right?

[00:11:50] So here we are in our weight struggler world, and then we interact with skinny people.

[00:11:55] Skinny people, skinny people, skinny people, skinny people.

[00:12:01] It just kind of rolls off the tongue, right?

[00:12:03] Skinny people. I could say another word.

[00:12:07] I think there’s a brand of Skinny B, and a few other things, but I’m not gonna say that because I’m not, I’m not here to protect skinny people, but I’m not here to bring them down either.

[00:12:18] I’m here to make peace with skinny people.

[00:12:22] And why? Not for skinny people’s sake, but for yours.

[00:12:26] So skinny people are seemingly our polar opposite.

[00:12:30] They are the yin to our yang.

[00:12:32] They are the thin to our fat, and it seems just so gosh darn easy for them.

[00:12:40] It just seems so fricking effortless, and we just start to compare ourselves to them and despair.

[00:12:49] But here’s the thing.

[00:12:51] The more we envy or hate them for having it easy, the more it defines us as a struggler.

[00:13:00] So, there was this girl, Sarah, in my high school, and I was an overweight teenager in high school, right?

[00:13:07] I spent most of my high school years wearing, the stretchy, elastic waist jeans.

[00:13:14] And not looking like high fashion, let’s just say.

[00:13:19] I was probably… Well, I know I was 25 pounds to 30 pounds overweight during high school, and that’s horrible, awful.

[00:13:26] It was, it was horrible.

[00:13:30] And Sarah was one of these beautiful girls, the one…

[00:13:34] she was a cheerleader, of course, and she just had, it seemed like the perfect slim figure, and she was kind of from an affluent family,

[00:13:43] so her clothes she wore, they were so beautiful.

[00:13:46] She would wear these beautiful jeans with the rhinestones in them, or this was the ’70s, folks.

[00:13:52] So, you can just… Or the flared legs, and the cute little th- the shirts, and everything hung so well on her, and it just did not hang on me.

[00:14:03] In fact, the only thing hanging on me was fat and my thighs hanging over the chair while hers fit into the chair easily.

[00:14:11] In French class, I would look at her, I would just go, “God, I hate her. She’s got it so easy.

[00:14:18] Like, she probably goes home, and it’s just so easy for her.”

[00:14:21] And the one thing would be, I would watch her eat at the lunchroom, because I was always on a diet,

[00:14:27] and I would… they had a salad bar at my high school.

[00:14:31] If you could call it a salad bar.

[00:14:32] It was like iceberg lettuce chopped up with a side bowl of cheddar cheese and ranch dressing and a few cherry tomatoes and maybe some chopped up shallots or, not shallots, but scallions, green onions.

[00:14:46] So anyway, I would get my little salad, sad salad, and sit there, and then I would watch her chow down like four or three, three, three or four pieces of pizza.

[00:14:59] And she’s talking to all the boys, and eating the pizza, and God, I hated her so much.

[00:15:09] And she was smart.

[00:15:10] She had it all. Okay.

[00:15:14] So she could, she was sitting with the football players, eating like a football player, and here she was, like, as skinny as a rail, and she looked awesome.

[00:15:24] And so here was my inner speak, “She’s so lucky, and I’m a freaking jerk.”

[00:15:30] Now, if you’ve worked with me or have gone through the Shift Weight Mastery process,

[00:15:36] the one thing that we really work very hard on is struggling, shedding our weight struggler identity and stepping into a new identity as a student of weight mastery,

[00:15:47] because that immediately opens up our brain and makes us creative and think differently.

[00:15:52] It puts us outside of the box that we live in, because I really believe in, there, like, our, we have a mental box of struggle that is comprised of our beliefs and our habits and our identity.

[00:16:04] So when we step out of that old box and step into this identity of a student of weight mastery,

[00:16:11] it opens up our mind and we start to see the world from a different place, and we start to see ourselves from a different place.

[00:16:16] We start to see food and exercise from a different place, and we aren’t struggling with it anymore.

[00:16:20] We’re learning to interact with it powerfully and ourselves powerfully as well.

[00:16:26] I wanna look at the skinny people from a thin thinking perspective and start to poke holes in these beliefs

[00:16:33] so that we have some power and we can step outside of that box that we’re in.

[00:16:38] So here’s the belief: skinny people can eat whatever food they want and stay slim.

[00:16:43] So let’s unpack this.

[00:16:45] Okay, so here is a fact.

[00:16:47] Some people, some skinny people, can eat a lot of crap foods and not gain weight.

[00:16:55] Yes, there are those who have either a high metabolism or their satiety and hunger hormones work in their favor,

[00:17:05] meaning their hormones are rigged in such a way that they feel full right away or they don’t get as hungry.

[00:17:14] So there are those out there, but those people are only about 10 to 15% of the population.

[00:17:21] That’s not a lot of people out there.

[00:17:24] But a lot of these skinny people that may seem blessed with a super high metabolism or hormones that are rigged in their favor.

[00:17:33] They actually struggle with eating. I mean, and how do I know this?

[00:17:37] Because they come to me, and they might say, “You know, I wanna eat a better diet.

[00:17:44] Like, I’ve been eating a bunch of crap for years and years and years ’cause I can,

[00:17:49] but now I’m addicted to those foods and I feel trapped in this relationship with junk food, drive-through food.”

[00:17:58] And all they wanna do is eat vegetables.

[00:18:00] They just want to be able to eat a healthy diet.

[00:18:04] Because believe it or not, even the fact that they aren’t gaining weight because they’re eating all this crap, it makes them feel bad.

[00:18:11] It makes them feel like crap. It makes them feel out of control and miserable.

[00:18:17] So even though this 10% of the population can eat what they want, many are not necessarily partying down or happy about it.

[00:18:27] They have their own cross to bear with food.

[00:18:31] Now, in addition, eating junk just doesn’t lead to weight gain, right?

[00:18:36] It can create cancer, heart disease, pre-diabetes, Alzheimer’s, dementia, and that’s hurts everybody, heavy or thin, right?

[00:18:46] So, some people also who are skinny struggle to keep the weight on.

[00:18:52] I mean, seriously struggle to keep the weight on.

[00:18:55] And again, it might seem, oh, well, they’re lucky they can drink three milkshakes and not gain an ounce.

[00:19:01] But these people, a lot of them are very ashamed of their bodies because they are so thin.

[00:19:07] They have almost the opposite thing with us at the beach.

[00:19:10] They’re, they cover themselves up because they’re so thin.

[00:19:16] So it does swing both ways.

[00:19:19] There are thin people, but they’re, they’ve got their own cross to bear.

[00:19:24] Now, of course, you may say, “But Rita, certainly there is more than 10 to 15% of the population that is thin.”

[00:19:31] So let’s discuss those other skinny people.

[00:19:36] There is a pretty big segment of the population that is also thin, but they don’t fall into that 10 to 15% super high metabolism or hormones rigged in the right way.

[00:19:48] There is just some thin people who have always been thin, but they work at staying slim.

[00:19:56] Now, how do I know this so well?

[00:19:58] Well whether or not you know me or you don’t.

[00:20:01] I have been seeing people as a hypnotherapist for over 20 years, and I’m also somebody who struggled with my own weight up and down the scale 40 pounds.

[00:20:10] I’m highly interested and intrigued by everybody’s journey with food and exercise and how they take care of themselves.

[00:20:17] So I work with people who do not struggle with weight.

[00:20:21] I work with smokers, but I also work with a large amount of people who are looking for other help.

[00:20:29] But I ask everybody, I say, “So what do you do?

[00:20:33] Do you do anything? You seem like a pretty healthy looking person.

[00:20:36] Are you doing anything to manage your weight?”

[00:20:39] Or I might, say to somebody, or, ” tell me more about how you’re feeding yourself, ’cause I’m just kind of curious.

[00:20:45] I like to know how people take care of themselves.”

[00:20:48] And I will tell you that probably 85% of these people have an answer for me.

[00:20:56] It’s not like they’re saying, “Oh, you know what? I just wake up and I eat a croissant, and then I go and get a hamburger for lunch,”

[00:21:03] and they have got a program that they’re working, and I don’t mean a program outside themselves,

[00:21:08] but they’ve figured out some rules for themselves in their relationship to school, and these peop- I meant in relationship to food,

[00:21:16] and these people have never struggled with their weight.

[00:21:20] But they have they recognized that in order to stay slim, they were blessed to be thin growing up,

[00:21:29] but they recognized as they became adults and their metabolism began to slow down,

[00:21:33] they needed to moderate the way that they were eating in order to stay healthy and slim, or maybe not so healthy, but slim.

[00:21:42] So I would get answers all the time like, “I don’t eat sugar,” or, “I eat one meal a day,”

[00:21:49] or, “I exercise every single day,” or, “I don’t eat gluten,” or, “I don’t eat in between meals.”

[00:21:56] There was, there, or those, they would sit down and just go, “Let me tell you what I’ve figured out.”

[00:22:01] They, people love to talk about the way they eat and take care of themselves, right?

[00:22:06] So they’re thin, and maybe they’ve never struggled, but they have a plan to stay thin, and they work their plan.

[00:22:13] This world is full of food. Haven’t you noticed?

[00:22:17] There are food signals on television. There are food signals in social media.

[00:22:21] There’s food signals in magazines and on billboards and everywhere we look.

[00:22:26] We are bombarded with imagery of food.

[00:22:30] Now, even slim people have to manage that in some way, in some sort of internal mechanism system or a way of operating in the world or else they begin to gain weight.

[00:22:43] Now, these people are exercising or they’re just, like I said, they’ve made, say, oh, I eat two meals a day.

[00:22:51] I don’t eat in between.

[00:22:52] Whatever it is, they are managing.

[00:22:54] This is what I want you to understand is they are managing their weight.

[00:22:59] I think we think when we struggle with our weight that everybody’s lucky and nobody has to think about this stuff.

[00:23:05] Nobody has to worry about the gym.

[00:23:07] They just go to the gym to look good in their clothes.

[00:23:10] Nobody has to think about what they’re planning or they don’t have to plan what they’re eating for the week or think of or make healthy choices when they go to the restaurant, and that’s absolutely not true.

[00:23:20] And when we think that, it makes us a victim.

[00:23:23] It makes us a victim, and it makes us think of that type of eating, taking care of ourselves, having to manage our weight as a negative thing rather than a powerful thing.

[00:23:36] And I think we have an opinion about these people.

[00:23:39] And I think we look at skinny people who are focused on health, and focused on their weight, and focused on eating in a particular way, I think we call them obsessive.

[00:23:48] I think we call them health nuts.

[00:23:51] We have terms for that. And I’m not saying that some of these people might be going overboard and have..

[00:23:57] Certainly there are a number of thin people who have eating disorders, what have you,

[00:24:02] but a large percent of the population has just figured out a way of eating that works for them, and they work their program.

[00:24:09] And to have an opinion about them, like they’re obsessive or they’re health nuts, hurts you.

[00:24:16] It doesn’t hurt them.

[00:24:19] We wanna create a loving and nurturing relationship with food, and if we are creating a subconscious negative feeling about people who are healthy, and focused, and slim,

[00:24:34] then doesn’t that negatively impact our internal feeling, our subconscious feeling about wanting to be healthy and slim ourselves?

[00:24:45] We’re creating healthy and slim as a negative idea in our subconscious mind.

[00:24:52] I don’t know. Isn’t that food for thought?

[00:24:56] Our opinion about slim and healthy people, our negative opinion, our resentment,

[00:25:04] might be creating this negative idea of being slim for ourselves, where we have an aversion to that.

[00:25:12] I’m just starting to point out how our seemingly innocent or well-deserved beliefs about how annoying people are that are thin, they might be hurting us.

[00:25:24] And it’s easy to make assumptions about thin people.

[00:25:29] For instance, you might know a thin person who can chow down in front of you.

[00:25:33] Here they are eating a burger and fries, and are wearing a pair of skinny jeans while you’re eating a salad and feeling a little full,

[00:25:42] and maybe you’re wearing a relaxed fit jean.

[00:25:47] And it may seem unfair, like, why can they chow down on all this food and I have to eat a salad and I’m still struggling with my weight?

[00:25:56] But maybe you don’t know the whole story.

[00:25:59] Maybe they aren’t, they didn’t eat anything earlier that day, or maybe they’re not gonna eat again until tomorrow afternoon.

[00:26:06] We don’t always know the full story when we see a thin person chowing down on food.

[00:26:11] For example, remember that cheerleader, Sarah, that I was talking about.

[00:26:15] She could chow down three or four slices of pizza for lunch, and probably that equaled about 1,200 calories for lunch, right?

[00:26:23] So that’s a fair amount of calories.

[00:26:25] But maybe she didn’t eat breakfast, and definitely she was gonna go for a three-hour cheerleading practice after school that would burn a good portion of those calories.

[00:26:37] Me, I ate my measly salad for lunch, but I went home and I made a batch of cookie dough to drown my sorrows about how lucky Sarah was

[00:26:47] and how lucky I was, and then I would fall into a sugar coma nap and not move at all for the rest of the afternoon.

[00:26:53] And by the time 5:00 PM rolled around, Sarah, Sarah had burned off two-thirds of the pizza calories and was netting about 400 calories.

[00:27:01] Me, with the cookie dough and the zero exercise, netting about 3,000 calories.

[00:27:07] See, all my resentment of Sarah being so lucky, that resentment hurt me.

[00:27:13] It didn’t hurt her. She was off to cheerleading practice.

[00:27:16] She didn’t even think for a second about me.

[00:27:18] But I was hurting myself with that resentment, and often our resentment is a very fattening emotion, and we eat over it.

[00:27:27] So can you see how our skinny people are lucky ’cause they can eat anything they want assumption can be damaging to us?

[00:27:36] The media puts a lot of false images that perpetuate this as well.

[00:27:40] It’s not all our fault. Look, it’s not your fault.

[00:27:43] We’re thrown to this, and we are surrounded in a world that gives us false images and, really does favor thin people in the media images that we see.

[00:27:53] So we see people with food items in their hand, chowing down, who look skinny and slim, but that’s probably not the whole truth.

[00:28:02] You know? For instance, I read in a trashy magazine yes, trashy magazine.

[00:28:09] I read in a People or an OK! Magazine that and I’m not gonna mention their name, but you’ll probably know who I’m talking about, but this was in a magazine,

[00:28:16] so I’m not like, divulging anything that’s secret or new, but I read in this magazine that a very popular Food Network chef, who is a slim, lovely Italian woman.

[00:28:27] She looks skinny, she is skinny, she’s lovely and firm and has a big smile on her face, and she eats all these amazing pastas and tiramisu,

[00:28:37] and you just see her chowing down on all this food that she’s made, looking happy, licking her lips, and you just think, “Gosh, that’s so unfair.

[00:28:46] She’s so beautiful, and she can eat all that Italian food and never gain an ounce.”

[00:28:50] Well, come to find out, there’s a spit bucket right on the side, and as soon as the take is done, she spits that food out into the spit bucket.

[00:29:00] She is working her program.

[00:29:02] She is not consuming all of those calories, and she probably you know, let’s face it, gets sick of that how many bites of pasta can you eat?

[00:29:10] Well, maybe a lot, but she probably gets a little sick of that food anyway.

[00:29:13] But the point I’m making is there’s an illusion out there that slim people have it easy,

[00:29:20] they all get to eat all the tiramisu they want, and we’re- we look at tiramisu and we gain five pounds, and that’s not always the whole story.

[00:29:29] So there’s a lot of crazy ideas floating around these days, so let’s take our power back, shall we, from the weight struggle, beliefs, and emotions,

[00:29:39] and come at this instead as people who respect themselves, who are mastering their weight and creating a powerful change where we take 100% responsibility for our bodies

[00:29:56] and what they do and ourselves and our relationship with food, and create a more powerful relationship with skinny people.

[00:30:05] Let’s set them free to set ourselves free, shall we?

[00:30:12] So here are some facts.

[00:30:15] Yes, some people can eat what they want, and it doesn’t make them healthy or happy, and some skinny people work at staying skinny.

[00:30:26] And some people work at being skinny or don’t work at being skinny and can eat whatever they want, but after the age of 40, they begin gaining weight.

[00:30:35] And because their metabolism has finally slowed down, and I get a lot of those people who come to see me.

[00:30:41] And they’re all of a sudden, “Why am I what’s happening? I’m gaining weight. I’m eating the same amount of food.”

[00:30:46] And their metabolism has slowed down.

[00:30:48] So I have to laugh because I’ve gone to some high school reunions, and all those skinny girls, biatches, who I envied and I was jealous of at my, what was it?

[00:31:01] My last reunion I went, because this, I’m coming to a, up to another reunion year this coming year.

[00:31:06] I’m class of ’82. So it was almost 10 years ago.

[00:31:11] So was that my 30th? It must’ve been my 30th.

[00:31:14] Well, 30th? Yeah, it must’ve been 30th. I think it’s my 40th coming up.

[00:31:18] Wow. Anyway, they were heavier set, you know?

[00:31:23] And I, it was interesting because it was a real interesting thing for me to see that, you know, like, to, it was kind of like ghosts were let out of my closet, like these demons.

[00:31:34] But what was interesting was my journey with food, my ownership of food, my h- I had to work my relationship with food much earlier in my life.

[00:31:43] So when I got into my 40s, I was okay.

[00:31:46] I knew how to manage my weight, and I didn’t gain weight during menopause.

[00:31:49] I stayed the same.

[00:31:51] But these women who were my peers in high school, who were my skinny peers,

[00:31:56] they were now having to figure that out, and some of them weren’t so successful,

[00:32:01] and some of them, I could tell, felt really bad about themselves.

[00:32:04] So it’s interesting, isn’t it?

[00:32:06] And ironic that these things get turned around, but we give it so much power.

[00:32:12] So here’s my three recommendations to start to change your relationship with skinny people.

[00:32:18] Number one, stop giving your power away by resenting skinny people.

[00:32:24] It makes us a victim. It makes us a have-not person.

[00:32:29] It doesn’t work for us, and you are not a have-not.

[00:32:33] That’s not true.

[00:32:34] You are a powerful person, and there is a lot you have that would make those skinny people jealous of you if you would just wake up to that.

[00:32:43] And who, and use gratitude as a way to keep yourself grounded in your life, right?

[00:32:48] Look at what you’ve got, and look at all of who you are and all the amazing things that you do, and really give yourself credit.

[00:32:56] And it also takes away your power for you to fall into that negative belief that eating whatever you want makes you happy.

[00:33:03] It doesn’t.

[00:33:04] Eating refined food, junk food, fast food, no matter what you weigh, takes your power and your health away, and that’s just the truth.

[00:33:15] So focus on eating a healthy way of eating that allows you for treats, that keeps you feeling good and vibrant,

[00:33:24] and that has some junk food and fast food thrown in here and there.

[00:33:27] You can do that.

[00:33:30] But, that’s focused on you feeling good in your skin, you feeling good in your body, that allows you to release weight and love yourself down the scale.

[00:33:38] Don’t deprive or punish yourself or envy yourself down the scale.

[00:33:42] You’re too good for that.

[00:33:45] Now, number two, forgive.

[00:33:47] Forgive those skinny people.

[00:33:49] I’m gonna say it. Forgive them. Forgive them.

[00:33:52] Let the resentment go.

[00:33:53] Just let’s all take a deep collective breath.

[00:33:58] Let the love in your heart for the skinniest person you know, the person who looks the most amazing in their clothes, and give them some love .

[00:34:07] There is a saying I love, I’ve probably mentioned it before, resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die, right?

[00:34:16] Skinny people aren’t really suffering because you resent them, but you are.

[00:34:21] Take back your power from the skinny people and forgive them.

[00:34:24] They’re just off living their skinny lives while you or me or all of us.

[00:34:31] Well, definitely me with that girl Sarah, ate all my resentment, and it looks like a batch of raw cookie dough.

[00:34:38] Let’s just say it. I forgive you skinny people.

[00:34:42] I forgive you skinny people. I forgive you.

[00:34:46] I love, I feel the love in my heart for you.

[00:34:50] You will be, and love yourself and accept yourself as you get slimmer and slimmer because you’ve accepted this idea of being slimmer as a positive thing.

[00:35:03] So you’ve neutralized it in your mind because you’ve let that forgiveness in your heart.

[00:35:10] Embrace those slim people, damn it.

[00:35:14] All right, three, get curious.

[00:35:15] What can skinny people teach you? All right?

[00:35:19] This is a good one. Believe me, they have taught me a lot.

[00:35:25] Once I loved and embraced thin people and let go of the resentment, I saw that there were things that they were doing, mm, they were good, and I could use them.

[00:35:35] So for instance, I had a friend who was skinny, never struggled with her weight,

[00:35:39] and my jaw dropped when we went to a restaurant, a Mexican restaurant, and she told the waiter, she said, “I only want half of a basket of chips.

[00:35:49] Don’t give me a full basket of chips. So take this full basket away and bring me half a basket please.”

[00:35:54] She was nice to him, but you know, she was clear.

[00:35:58] And I was like, “Why did you do that?”

[00:35:59] And she’s like, “Look, you know, let’s be real.

[00:36:03] We would both eat this entire basket of chips, and the problem is that then when my food came, I wouldn’t enjoy my food ’cause I’d already feel gross and full, and I like to eat.

[00:36:14] I like the taste of my food, and if I eat those chips, it’s gonna dull the taste of my food.”

[00:36:21] And that was a real revelation to me because I was, I realized that, she could probably eat the basket of chips and her

[00:36:27] food, but she wanted to enjoy, she wanted to be mindful, she wanted to savor and relish the wonderful taste of the food and not be too full and stuffed.

[00:36:37] Who wants to feel bloated and gross when their food comes? Not really many, any people.

[00:36:41] But she created a system for herself, and she created willpower for herself by just removing half a bag, half of a basket of chips.

[00:36:52] So that was very interesting. Now, I had another friend, and this is another interesting..

[00:36:58] Like again, you watch these thin people, you can learn from them.

[00:37:02] So I had this friend, it was very quirky, but they only ate the insides out of like a cheese danish or an apple danish.

[00:37:09] They would only eat the fruit out of the danish. Or, like they- we would go out to eat,

[00:37:14] and I would watch them just kind of eat like the cheese and then, maybe a quarter of their enchilada, and they ate it very slowly.

[00:37:23] And then maybe they would kind of or not even an enchilada, just like something that you could see that they were like going for certain things and they would only eat a few bites of other things.

[00:37:33] And I was like, “Well, what’s up?”

[00:37:35] And, and they, this other friend told me that, “I only eat A-plus foods.

[00:37:42] I only eat A-plus foods.

[00:37:43] If it’s not an amazing food, like then I’m not gonna put it in my body.

[00:37:48] I really enjoy and savor really good food, but I’ve really… I don’t have time for the foods that are subpar.

[00:37:58] I have a nice taste palate and I wanna enjoy the foods that I eat.”

[00:38:02] You’d see them eat a couple of bites of something and decide, “Oh, oh, okay, yeah, that’s not so great. I’m not gonna focus on that.”

[00:38:08] And as we all know, or maybe you don’t, but after three bites of food, your mouth experience goes down substantially, maybe 70%.

[00:38:18] For a lot of us, A-plus foods are really those first few bites, and then afterwards it all becomes C-minus food.

[00:38:26] So think about that. That’s, was something I learned from a thin friend.

[00:38:31] And I had this other slim friend. Her name was Francine.

[00:38:36] And this was back in my 20s. I knew her.

[00:38:40] We worked together. And she loved to get hungry.

[00:38:44] She wouldn’t eat unless she was hungry. Not starved, but hungry.

[00:38:48] Even if something amazing crossed her, in front of her, she was like, “I’m not really hungry and I like to eat when I’m hungry because then the food tastes really good.

[00:38:56] I don’t think food tastes good if I’m not really hungry, so I’m not gonna waste my time.”

[00:39:01] Isn’t that interesting?

[00:39:03] So there are things to be learned ’cause it really reframed my view of thin people as being these people who can eat all the time and eat all they want.

[00:39:12] They actually just have cultivated these quirky and interesting rules and ways that they interact with food that allows them to feel like, “I have the relationship with food that I like and I love.”

[00:39:24] Those are some thin thinking mental shifts.

[00:39:29] There’s ways to forgive slim people.

[00:39:32] And now I wanna just finish up with a few tips, right?

[00:39:36] About skinny people. So first of all, I guess this is thin thinking. Okay.

[00:39:41] I’m gonna call it thin thinking. So notice your thoughts about skinny people.

[00:39:45] Just notice your thoughts about them.

[00:39:47] Is this thought giving me power or is this thought taking my power away?

[00:39:52] Is it making me a victim of the thin person or the idea of being thin?

[00:39:57] Is it giving them more power or is it giving staying in that place that I am at more power?

[00:40:04] Is it making being struggling with my weight more powerful than the idea of me becoming slim?

[00:40:12] Or is it making the idea of being slim unpleasant because I believe slim people are annoying?

[00:40:19] So just shift those thoughts. And here’s one, here’s a little mantra.

[00:40:25] I am moving in the direction of being healthy and slim.

[00:40:29] I am moving in the direction of being healthy and slim.

[00:40:32] Here’s another mantra.

[00:40:33] I am curious about the slim people in my life. I am curious about the slim people in my life.

[00:40:42] Is there something I can learn from them?

[00:40:45] Here’s another one.

[00:40:47] I am open to appreciating slim people. I am open to appreciating slim people.

[00:40:55] I am open to appreciating myself and what I have in my life.

[00:41:02] Here’s my last one, my favorite.

[00:41:03] I am loving myself down the scale. I am loving myself down the scale.

[00:41:13] Okay. Wow.

[00:41:15] Well, I hope that helped you open your heart not only to skinny people, but to yourself, and I wanna thank you for being here and being part of the Thin Thinking family.

[00:41:25] I’m really excited.

[00:41:26] We do have some exciting episodes and guests coming up this summer.

[00:41:31] And don’t forget, you can join my free online on-demand master class called how to Stop the Start Over Weight Struggle Cycle and Begin Releasing Weight for Good.

[00:41:42] The link is in the show notes.

[00:41:45] And remember that the key, and probably the only key, to unlocking the door of the weight struggle is inside you,

[00:41:52] so keep listening and find it, and I will see you next week.

[00:41:58] If you wanna dive deeper into the mindset of long-term weight release, head on over to www.shiftweightmastery.com.

[00:42:09] That’s www.shiftweightmastery.com, where you will find numerous tools and resources to help you unlock your mind for permanent weight release, tips, strategies, and more.

[00:42:22] And be sure to check the show notes to learn more about my book, From Fat to Thin Thinking: Unlock Your Mind for Permanent Weight Loss.