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Rita: [00:00:00] In today’s Thin Thinking episode, I sit down with Hillary, a shift process graduate, a personal chef whose story of weight, food, and self-image is both unique. And deeply relatable. Growing up in New York with her father, who was a fashion photographer in the 1970s, Hillary was surrounded by the glossy, airbrushed, ultra thin world of models. And even though her own weight fluctuations were the range of just 12 to 15 pounds, the yo-yo cycle created an outsized emotional toll fueling years of frustration. Self-doubt and the nagging belief that she was never enough. Now nine months into successful weight maintenance, Hillary has made peace not only with her body, but with herself. And in this conversation we explore how she shifted her relationship

[00:01:00] with food, how she began to embrace her identity beyond the scale and the practical mindset and lifestyle tools that helped her build confidence and freedom. So whether your struggle has been 10 pounds. Or a hundred Hillary’s journey offers you insights into the deeper emotional work that makes lasting change possible. So come on in. Did you know that our struggle with weight doesn’t start with the food on your plate or get fixed in the gym? 80% of our weight struggle is mental. That’s right. The key to unlocking long-term weight release and management begins in your mind. Hi there, I’m Rita Black. I’m a clinical hypnotherapist, weight loss expert, bestselling author, and the creator of the Shift Weight

[00:02:00] Mastery Process. And not only have I helped thousands of people over the past 20 years. Achieve long-term weight mastery. I am also a former weight struggler, carb addict and binge eater, and after two decades of failed diets and fad weight loss programs, I lost 40 pounds with the help of hypnosis. Not only did I release all that weight, I have kept it off for 25 years. Enter the Thin Thinking Podcast where you too will learn how to remove the mental roadblocks that keep you struggling. I’ll give you the thin thinking tools, skills, and insights to help you develop the mindset you need, not only to achieve your ideal weight, but to stay there long-term and live your best life. Sound good? Let’s get started. Hello and wow. Happy October. Come on in. I hope

[00:03:00] you are enjoying the fall up here in the Northern Hemisphere, and I hope you’re enjoying the first buds of spring in the southern part of the world. We have a great month of episodes coming up, and by coincidence, it, surely by coincidence, although maybe it really is serendipity, I don’t know. But I am interviewing Hillary, who is a personal chef and has had quite a career in the world of food. And later this month I am interviewing the amazing chef Michelle, who I will be interviewing, like I said. Who’s also had a very interesting world of food career spanning from nutritional management and and being a personal chef and owning her own catering company. We have women in the world of food. And sharing about their weight loss journeys. ’cause I remember myself being in the world of food as a not like these ladies, they were pros,

[00:04:00] but back in the day when. I was younger and trying to make a buck going into people’s homes and cooking for them and waitressing and just being surrounded by food all the time is quite a challenge. So Hillary shares some of that with us, and so does Michelle. Interestingly, Hillary didn’t have a lot of weight to release on her journey, but as you might guess, it’s not so much about the weight on your body. But the weight on your heart and ugh, your mind. So Hillary opens up about her life of yo-yoing and struggling with herself and how she found some inner peace. So that is what is on the menu for today as we dive in. So I can’t wait to share my conversation. But before we do I just wanna remind you that if you have not come to my free. Masterclass with weight loss hypnosis, weight release hypnosis, I should say called How to Stop the Start over tomorrow, weight struggle

[00:05:00] cycle, and begin releasing Weight for good. Why haven’t you come? The links are in the show notes. You can come and it’s a perfect time of year to get focused and work on yourself and really shift your mindset in this area of your life. We’re gonna talk a lot about mental freedom in this episode, and really it’s beyond the weight. It’s the freedom from that negative self-abusive relationship. Freedom from the food noise, all of that stuff. We get into in the masterclass, so www. Shiftweightmastery. Com/free or hit up the show notes, the link is in there. And now let’s join Hillary. Oh I’m excited to have you here. Hillary, welcome to the Thank You Thinking podcast for Hillary was just saying she just came home from a long shift and I bet she’s here and she’s got a lot of

[00:06:00] energy and so thank you. I really appreciate your time. Of course. Hillary tell us a little bit about you where you live and and your profession, which I think a lot of people might find very interesting. Okay.

Hilary: I live in Connecticut. I’ve lived here for the past 13 years. Originally I’m from Manhattan. You grew up in

Rita: Manhattan?

Hilary: I grew up in Manhattan. Oh,

Rita: cool. Where in Manhattan, I’m curious.

Hilary: East 94th Street mostly. My father was a professional. Fashion photographer.

Rita: Oh, how cool.

Hilary: And we lived. Worked well. We lived and he worked in a three floor brownstone. We didn’t own it, it was rental, but it was nice because we had dogs and they would be in the studio and and then the third floor was the living quarters. So it’s an interesting way to grow up, for sure.

Rita: Did you help your dad out, like with the fact

[00:07:00] photographer? No.

Hilary: Oh, no. No, that, that was not my thing. So

Rita: you grew up in Manhattan. When did you leave?

Hilary: I went to college and that’s when I left And. I always, my parents had a house outside of the city and we would go, almo, we went every single weekend without fail and I loved it. So I was very fortunate. I had the best of both, but I really was never like a city kid. I didn’t wanna stay in the city with friends. I wanted to be out in the country. It was more free for me. That makes sense. I could see that. Yeah.

Rita: And growing up in Manhattan in the seventies

Hilary: and

Rita: eighties. Yeah. And it was a crazy city then too. Oh. Like a lot nuts. Lot of

Hilary: crime. And a lot of crime. And I lived right on the edge of East Harlem, yeah. You like

Rita: Spanish Harlem, right? It’s,

Hilary: [00:08:00] yeah. You go one block over and you don’t wanna ge be there at night.

Rita: No.

Hilary: So it, I think that also played a part in why I wanted to get out of there because it wasn’t the most agreeable. Plus my parents were really worried about me being on, like I never rode the subway. I rode the bus, to, because they were so worried about me being on the subway. Yeah.

Rita: Yeah. Gosh, it’s such a, and have you been back? I’m sure you have. It’s such a Oh yeah, lots. It’s

Hilary: horrible. I think only people who have grown up there understand. It’s like people who’ve come from other places and live. They think it’s fantastic. Or if they’re young enough and they have money. Wow, what a fantastic place to live. Not for the ordinary person. No. It’s so crowded now. It’s filled with lots of

[00:09:00] people and also the, the neighborhoods have changed so much, so I’m glad I’m not there anymore.

Rita: Yeah, I remember when I lived there in the eighties and it was just, yeah, the neighborhoods were super cute. We were just Barcelona this year and it reminded me of New York in the eighties. ’cause it was just like, you would go a couple blocks and it would be this next neighborhood with a different flavor. But when the last time I was in Manhattan it did, it felt like I don’t know, just had kind gotten smooth out. Homogenous. Homogenous. Thank you. Homogenous. Yeah. Alright, so I’m sorry. We totally sidetracked. I’m sorry. But we could do a whole podcast on Manhattan. But we’re not here for that. So yeah. So now you live in Connecticut? Yes. And tell us a little bit about your profession, which I think, oh, I’m

Hilary: a private chef. I’ve worked for the same family for the last 21 years. That’s not how I started. I worked in restaurants in Manhattan. I’ve published three cookbooks.

[00:10:00] I, I’ve done a lot of different things in the food business, but when I had children I needed to find something that was gonna be flexible enough and word of mouth from other friends who worked in the area in different places. Heard about this couple that was looking, and so I called, I interviewed. And I got the job. But it devolved over time. I started there two days a week, then three, and then it progressed to full-time.

Rita: Are you does, did cooking start out of I know, maybe tell us a little bit about your struggle with weight. Like when did you start feeling like you had some struggles here?

Hilary: You gotta understand that my parents were in the fashion industry. So there was a lot of pressure to be a certain way.

[00:11:00] Yeah. I was not a heavy person, but I was, I had some meat on me and I think. I wanna say it affected me as early as seven years old. I was aware that I wasn’t as thin as another 7-year-old girl, and I was very self-conscious about that. So did you see the models coming in? Oh yeah. Did that play a role too? Seeing Oh, absolutely. They were gorgeous, skinny seventies models. Yeah, because that was the aesthetic, right?

Rita: Super. Exactly. Super skinny then.

Hilary: Yeah. Yeah. So you know that played a part for sure. Plus I was five two. They’re all like six foot,

Rita: did your, so your parents were in that world and Right. Did they ever mention did they put you on a diet or did you was it more self-imposed from the no. It was

Hilary: my mother

[00:12:00] was going to Weight Watchers. I don’t know. During the liver. Years.

Rita: I remember the liver, years of Weight Watchers, for those of you who don’t know, you had to eat liver once a week. Yeah.

Hilary: So my mother was going, and then I went with her. I think I started when I was about 14. And that’s, like an awkward, time of your life when you’re, you’re changing a lot. I went with her, which was fa which was good ’cause she, she understood it was my father that put a lot of pressure on me. Be a certain way. So that wasn’t so great. Plus we loved cooking and food.

Rita: Okay. I was gonna say, when did the food and so was Oh yeah. Part of this whole thing.

Hilary: So very into food and wine and dining out and, trying everything. I never, there wasn’t a food I wouldn’t try. ’cause I

[00:13:00] used to get a real. Kick out of my school friends, I would tell them like last night, my mother made calf sprains. And they would go, Ew. It was just, yes. That was the result I was looking for. Oh my gosh. Yeah. So your mom

Rita: was experimental. She was a coach.

Hilary: She was a cook. She cooked at home a lot. She, they traveled in Europe a lot, so they tried to incorporate what they saw there into our home. My father was a very good cook too. That’s cool. And my grandfather. Who I didn’t really have a long relationship with, but he had jumped ship. He was Greek, he jumped ship and he became a fish cook, I think. So when he found out that I was doing it, he was absolutely horrified. Like, how could you ever wanna do

[00:14:00] that? Wow. But it’s offered me a nice, it’s a, been a very interesting career.

Rita: Was that what you wanted to do from the start? Like when you got exposed to that as a child, you were like, this is what I wanna do. I wanted No. In this world of food and dining and,

Hilary: no, I wanted to originally I wanted to teach. I was thinking, teaching English and then I started cooking at home and I, the college I went to was right near the Culinary Institute, so a girlfriend and I went there for lunch and that sold me.

Rita: Oh. So

Hilary: I just was so mesmerized by the whole thing. But I had I don’t know if Alice Waters. Yes. She owned Yes. St. Panis. I always thought that I was gonna be in that kind of environment, which was very hip sophisticated. I’ve

Rita: been to St. Panis

[00:15:00] sophisticated

Hilary: but not stuffy. Yeah. And with my experience was totally not that at the school I learned a great deal. But I was with. It was like the army.

Rita: I’ve heard that My sister-in-law went to the cord on blue and yeah, I think it was in New York, or maybe it was London. I don’t remember. She’s an amazing cook. But she did say it was just like, it was intense. It was intense. You. Yeah. It seems like very oh, we’ll do this today. Or that’s no, this is, you’re gonna learn meat. This Exactly. Meat and do well. And you’re gonna clean up. Exactly. Yeah. And it was a lot of clean. Oh yeah.

Hilary: A lot of work. A lot of discipline. A lot of discipline. A lot of. Really dysfunctional characters. And I was also one of the few women in my class, I think there

[00:16:00] were three of us, and it was not easy. Yeah. Yeah I would imagine back then it wasn’t, it was not easy and it was not great, but I was determined and I found, I found that restaurant work was not where I wanted to be. So I started doing food styling for television and magazines. I worked at Red Book Magazine as a recipe tester, so you know, I’ve had a very. Career within the food business. And it’s been very interesting. It’s been fun.

Rita: Yeah.

Hilary: Has that career.

Rita: Fed the struggle at all, or was that kind of existing outside your Oh no, it torture own struggle. Yeah. It was torture. Talk about that. Torture. Tell us how the struggle wove into this time that you were going through. Like your, because I know you’ve,

[00:17:00] maybe you can tell people like you’ve released. 12 pounds, but it’s like it, even though it’s 12 pounds, it’s like a lot of weight. Yes. Weight.

Hilary: Oh yeah. Yeah. And I think I also was, yeah, I talk about tortured to be you. In the food business and then also needing to be thin. The two of those things don’t go well together unless you’re naturally thin. There are people who are, yeah. But I was I really was a tortured soul. Throughout it as much. So much so that at one point I wanted to get out of it and I was working in a retail clothing store until I felt like maybe there’s other things I can do besides working in a restaurant. And that’s when I started exploring other avenues and it was, and it got better. It got better.

[00:18:00] But I’ve always struggled with, loving to eat and also restricting myself. And when I found your program, it was like, oh my God. Hallelujah. It’s now I had, done hypnosis a long time ago. Okay. When I was younger. And it For weight or for something? No. For something else. Okay. I was, I actually was a horse woman for years and I got really nervous about jumping over fences. And I went to this hypnotist who, it was just, it was amazing the change that happened for me, so I knew about it. I thought it was, I always thought it was a great thing, but I never found any program to do it with food. And it’s a mindblower, it really, it has changed my life.

Rita: I’m so glad to hear that. I, when you, I’m glad you found it.

[00:19:00] And what. Has changed for you, like from the inside out? What is it the relationship with, because I know, maybe tell us a little bit about your weight release journey. Sure. Did you, I, you go up can, before you do, can you just, it’s like when you were struggling, would you go up 10, 12 down to Yeah. 12. Just like up and down and up and down. Oh, yeah.

Hilary: Oh yeah. Yo-yo. Totally. Yo-yo. And with all the shame. And disgusted if I had 50 pounds to lose.

Rita: Yeah. I mean it, I’m saying to Hillary before we turned on record that it’s for 10 pounds For somebody who’s struggled with those 10 pounds all their lives, it is a lot of the same amount of shame. The same torture. Self torture. Self torture. Yep. Self abuse. And it can be very extreme because it’s almost w it’s weird because

[00:20:00] it’s only 10 pounds. So it, even that self what’s wrong with you? It’s only 10 pounds. Exactly.

Hilary: Exactly.

Rita: And there is that other layer of self shame that you were saying that. People would look at you and go what’s wrong with you? There’s no, you don’t have a problem. Yeah, exactly. But it exactly, it’s not just about the weight, it’s about this relationship with yourself and food. Yes.

Hilary: Relationship with myself, totally. Beating myself up, working out like a maniacally to try and keep the weight off. I have stopped that. Which is I am a regular exerciser and I love it, but I’m not a lunatic. I have given up the lunacy and it’s very moderate and reasonable. Everything I do now is moderate and reasonable. I don’t deny myself. Cakes and cookies, but I regularly live m

[00:21:00] much more cleanly than that. Food wise. And with the meditation and the the hypnosis that you were offering it, it’s stuck. It just feels like it has stuck.

Rita: So today, like how. How does it feel that’s different than it was? How long have you been on this journey, like shifting well with you?

Hilary: I think it’s been about two years.

Rita: Yeah. Okay.

Hilary: I think so. I started feeling much more confident that I could handle myself and really started to. Think about why I was eating when I was eating because I’m, I’ve always been an emotional eater, so whenever, happy I go eat something sad, I go eat something, and I’m much more cognizant of that and don’t

[00:22:00] feel the need. My first year with you was the first year that I did not gain weight during the holidays. Then I knew I was onto something without hand wring, feeling

Rita: deprived or feeling

Hilary: no, not at all. Plus, I have, established, when I like to be at a certain weight. I give myself, two pounds either way. And if I get to that two pound mark, I’m really serious about taking control of that. I don’t let it go.

Rita: I think, we’ve, you’ve been at maintenance. Wait for how long now? Ugh. Maybe eight months, nine months. Yeah. Many people that I speak to about maintenance. It is, I surprising, I think it’s a surprising journey to many people. Yeah. ’cause it’s really, it’s harder. It’s a and it’s a

[00:23:00] journey of being with yourself. Yeah. In a way that’s very intimate and very, you have to, you have, like you said, you get two pounds up and it’s not like the old critic coming in and slowing down and saying, no, no need chicken and broccoli for you. But it’s okay kid. What, we’ve got know how you feel and what are we gonna do and let’s get into some action here. And there’s no shame.

Hilary: No,

Rita: but there is an awareness and I think that level of awareness, I was talking to somebody yesterday, maybe you can weigh in on this, about weight maintenance. ’cause they’ve been maintaining their weight for about the same amount of time as you, and it’s a surprise that you, there’s a level of awareness that you have, but it’s not. But it’s not that same focus that you have when you are in weight release mode, but you are still, especially in the first year, I think you’re. You’re, you are figuring it

[00:24:00] out. You’re going through, I think you have to go through all the seasons and all that stuff to and I think the longer you’re in it, the more confidence you have and the less awareness that you need except when the scale goes up. And that’s why the scale is a powerful tool even. And it’s not a self shaming tool if you can be a scientist about it. But I was really

Hilary: good at losing weight. Oh my God. I could lose weight like nobody’s business by put my How would you

Rita: lose weight? Like when you were in the middle of a, like a restaurant or would you just stop eating? I just, yeah I wouldn’t eat. Yeah.

Hilary: Or I’d eat very little. I taste, of course you’re constantly having to taste things, but yeah, I realized when I, and I’ve hit maintenance before with other programs, but I realized that it’s all about the losing that’s more exciting than the maintenance. The maintenance is the part where you get

[00:25:00] to. Everyone said, oh, you look great a million times, and then it’s just that you look great all the time. Yeah. You know what I’m saying? Yeah. So you lose the compliments. You you’re not sure if you have a real reason to continue on this journey. And also maintaining I don’t know about anybody else but. It’s like all bets are off, all of a sudden you’ve lost the weight and boom, you’re put into the universe to f fend for yourself with not a lot of support because the whole idea of whatever program is out there is that you will gain the weight back. So that you can go back to Weight Watchers or wherever and lose it again. And it’s just like a circle.

Rita: But where. So with this person I was spoke speaking with, we were talking about how weight MA Mastery and Maintenance

[00:26:00] mastery is. It’s because long-term permanent weight management is a chronic condition, right? Like it’s meaning that you’ll always, it’s, I was, I, and I’ve never had lupus, but I know people who have. Autoimmune diseases. Yeah. And when you eat in a certain way, like when you eat in a way that helps your body keep the lupus or whatever in remission it, and that’s not restrictive, but it’s just in a healthy or whatever way for that, your body, for that condition a lot of times can stay in remission. And then if it, you get off track with that, you might have a flare up and then you go back to your way that you’re, that works for your body and I learn,

Hilary: does that make, I think you l yes. You learn that, oh, that doesn’t work.

[00:27:00] This, that, that thing that I do is. Not working anymore. Yeah. So because I don’t get, I don’t get anything from it except feeling lousy that I, ate too much ice cream or whatever it is.

Rita: Yeah. And I think it’s that mental freedom that comes from finding that like place that you like, because I’ve been talking to a lot of people about weight maintenance and it’s like you said, it’s like after you stop losing. You are digging deeper and finding that the real reason to stay on your journey is the mental freedom. Yeah. That, that feeling of agency that you have over yourself, your life, your body, right? But also that feeling of peace in your mind. Being free from the obsession. It’s it

Hilary: right when your world is just about.

[00:28:00] How many calories you’re eating or how many points you’re having in a day, you’re not really dealing with the inner stuff that’s going on because this is an inside job, whatever, the eating thing. So I felt like with your program. I also felt like I, before I started actually, I said to myself, you are wasting time. You are wasting your life by focusing so much on this, and wouldn’t it be great to be free of that? Because then you could spend time doing really important things that you wanna

Rita: do. Yeah. You do. You realize that it is. It is keeping you from being you and Yeah, but

Hilary: I’m 65. Yeah. It’s taken me, I don’t know, 50 years to figure that out.

[00:29:00] Yeah. That’s a long time

Rita: to have your head in the sand, yeah. I don’t know that your head has exactly been in the sand, but I totally understand. But I’m glad you’re in a good place. How’s your relationship with your inner coach? Oh, very co right? Right now very stable. Yeah. Good. Yeah, I didn’t name her or anything. Oh you don’t need to name your Yeah. But I do feel like we’re much more aligned as that. We think on the same plane now.

Hilary: So I, I do get reminded. She does remind me, remember? And that’s all it takes for me to, just relax, take a deep breath and realize that, for being under stress that. Eating an ice cream sandwich is not going to make you

[00:30:00] feel better. Recognizing that and also trying to remember what the feelings were when you did that and how you felt before. If you can do that. That to me is like medicine.

Rita: Yeah.

Hilary: That all that is

Rita: so powerful. Yeah. Yeah. And we don’t get that when we’re in that diet mode. You can’t get to that. Oh God no. Yeah,

Hilary: no it’s a trap. It’s a terrible trap. And the pe the diet industry is just wretched. They take people for, they take advantage of people who are really desperate and. We’ll try absolutely anything. Yeah. To get rid of the feelings that they

Rita: have. Yeah. And it puts us, that struggle puts us in a very, it makes us very vulnerable to look for stuff outside of us when it’s Yeah. Really, it is, like you

[00:31:00] said, it’s an inside job and you are the magic. Yeah. You are the key. I’m glad you found it. For what are you looking forward to in this upcoming year for you as far as just your health and your Oh, life.

Hilary: Knock wood I’m feel healthier than I ever have been. I my exercising a lot, but, not What do you like

Rita: to do for exercise, Lori?

Hilary: I’m not sure I’m supposed to say the name, but you can bleep it out. I’ve started doing orange theory. Oh,

Rita: that is, which is really, I’ve heard a lot of people speak very highly about Orange, which

Hilary: is funny because I don’t really love a lot of loud music. But they play it so loud that you can’t focus on anything else but moving one foot in front of the other. And it’s just great. It’s an hour I’m out of there and I get on with my day and I do it very early, so I feel ugh,

[00:32:00] I’ve the whole day ahead of me to just not even worry about it.

Rita: So you get up, go there and then go to work. Yeah. Yeah. That probably makes you feel awesome. It does, because it does get your blood moving and Yeah, my. My serotonin goes through the roof. Yeah. And probably the music gets your brain going and Yeah, all it does. So that’s cool. I like, I’ve heard very good things about it and, and you wear something, right? So that you Yeah, it’s a

Hilary: monitor. A monitor. Now I’m sure they skew it ’cause after an hour it says you burn 435 calories. And I think, yeah, sure

Rita: buddy. Yeah. That’s interesting. You might, yeah. They probably, if it’s, they’ve gotta. To keep you engaged. I dunno. I maybe not. I don’t know. I remember wearing going to spin and thinking I was burning like 500 calories and then I got myself a polar heart rate monitor

[00:33:00] and one of those things. Yeah. Yeah. I used to wear that. And then app and it was like 230 times. I was like, what? What exactly. You gotta be kidding. But that was a big chuckle I had. And then I was like, then from then on it was pretty cynical about like how, and

Hilary: I didn’t, in the end I don’t care. I don’t include it in my. Daily caloric count thing. I just don’t, yeah.

Rita: There’s so many other, like the reason to exercise every morning. Yeah. Especially now above the age of 60 is, yeah. Also just to keep it going and keep your muscles going and just that’s, I was, I.

Hilary: I was a runner. When I turned 50, I decided I’m gonna do a triathlon. So I trained for one and it was great. I had a fun time and I thought, oh, I’ll keep doing this. And then that fell off because I got nervous riding my bike around where I live. It’s very

[00:34:00] hilly. People are very distracted on their phones and I just said, nah, I have I can’t afford to lose my right hand, so the chopping hand. I stopped doing that, but I was running, I was doing a lot of running and I just love the feeling of being outside. And breathing fresh air. The reason why I did Orange Theory was because they do weights, and that is my weak,

Rita: yeah, weak

Hilary: point. I don’t, I’m not so driven to do that, but since I’ve been taking these classes and it makes a difference. Yeah. It really does. So I’m glad I’m doing that. That’s the best thing I could have done for myself.

Rita: Good for you. That’s great. When you were releasing your. 10 to 12 pounds. Did you take it slow? Because I think a lot of people who of our listeners who may be in the same place as you only have that or are on there, as we were talking about

[00:35:00] before we turned on record, that people can have a significant amount of weight to release and then they get down to that last 2010. That’s where it takes a different kind of focus. And

Hilary: but I kept telling sorry. No, please. I kept telling myself, this is going to work. You just have to keep doing what you’re doing. And I was able to talk to myself that way because in the past I would throw up my hands and say, this is ridiculous. I’m gonna do something else. Like you say, start again on Monday. Now I try another program, but I really felt confident that this was, I just had to stick with it. Yeah.

Rita: And

Hilary: it really helped

Rita: me. Stick with yourself. Yeah. I think it’s that muscle. That tenacity muscle of just not giving up on yourself because it’s not, when we abandon ship to

[00:36:00] go find another shiny penny diet or thing, you’re losing such a huge lesson, which is just staying with yourself in that moment and saying, what’s missing? What do we need? Yeah, let’s just keep going. You’ve got this kid, and like I said, that intimate relationship you really build with yourself. Like you would, I

Hilary: think you, you taught me also to take it on as a challenge, not as a life sentence. Where. When something wasn’t working, instead of, feeling sorry about it, what did I, what could I do differently next time? Was a really helpful approach because instead of beating myself up and feeling bad, yeah, because I just would tell myself, look, this is gonna work, but you’re, maybe you’re eating too many calories, or, whatever it was to try and problem solve. As

[00:37:00] opposed to, self abuse.

Rita: Yeah. That’s so key. That’s so critical. And I do think that in that last leg of the journey, meaning like that last 10 to 15 pounds, you are really honing in on that the right amount of. I’m just, I’m gonna say this probably in elegantly, but just how much do I need to live life at my ideal weight? How can I fill that place with food I enjoy? But that stabilizes me and keeps me going and keeps my brain free from feeling addicted and wanting more food. And that is that, that last 10 to 15 pounds is really dialing that in. Yeah. And that takes a lot of self-awareness, a lot of self-questioning and Right. And it also takes

Hilary: and kindness to yourself for crying out

[00:38:00] loud. If you’re a person who had a hundred pounds to lose and now you have 10 more, you’ve gotta focus on the wonderful thing it is that you lost 90. Yeah. That’s awesome. That’s perfect. I think our habit is to not recognize where we come from, where we’ve come from, and take pride in that and know that it’s worked for 90 pounds, it’s gonna work for another 10. Yeah.

Rita: And it’s that, that just dialing in that who? Why that, why why release 10 more pounds? Like why, like, why is that important to my life? And really getting clear and aligning with like yourself. I think you are explaining it really well, Hillary, like that, just understanding that. That it’s a head space you live in more than anything else. Yeah. And really being able to make mistakes because Yes, I think a lot of

[00:39:00] dialing all of this in is you have to be willing. To do trial and error is gonna happen in order,

Hilary: especially the first year of maintenance. Do you think I’ve been perfect for yet? No, not if you’re like me. No. I and I, and the thing that’s, that thing that’s different is that I know what I can do to correct that. And I’m not gonna die. Yeah. I’m very lucky I have to take stock in that fact. Yes. Am I gonna have a huge ice cream cone once in a while? You better believe I am. But it doesn’t have to define me

Rita: and it doesn’t have to be the end. Like I, I think the, getting back on track. Is a wonderful muscle to just I think the lo, the more times you get back on track after getting off track, the more confident you become. Yeah. Because you know that you can do it. It’s just okay, I got off track.

[00:40:00] I’m getting back on track. And that really is the heart and soul consistency. Yeah. I don’t think people get that until they really get in it and start, living from that, really

Hilary: working it. Yeah.

Rita: Yeah. But really learning to forgive themselves. Really learning to learn, like you said, if you lose, don’t lose a lesson. Like what can I problem solve here? What is the challenge here? And that’s really the key. So that’s wonderful. If you had. I always ask everybody this question, so I don’t know if you’ve heard any of my interviews, but if somebody was starting out and they, you wanted to just say one thing to them that that first step that you would have them take what would that be? Because it sounds like you made that step before you started the shift or anything like that. Yeah. It was like, what would that step be?

Hilary: That’s a good question. I think it would

[00:41:00] probably be when you think you can’t go any further. Believe that you can because you

Rita: can. I love that. Yeah. I. I say this and I think people hear it and, but then they forget it is that most people who really have accomplished long-term weight management have gained and lost over 250 pounds in their life before they’re fine. Oh

Hilary: yeah. Oh yeah. Without a doubt.

Rita: Yeah. So that’s a good one. I like that very much because you can, it’s it’s not about. I had a mentor once, so it this, it wasn’t about weight, but it was about self-development and it was like we spend most of our life trying to search for gold in this big field and we just go and dig all these shallow little holes rather than just keeping on going and digging deeper and deeper. And that’s

[00:42:00] a good image. And I think it is just time to dig deeper and Right. That’s where the gold is. It really is. Yeah. Yeah. Hillary, this has been amazing and it’s, thank you so much. Great to get to know you and your fascinating life. Like it sounds like it could be a book it might be. You never know. Oh, what cookbooks I didn’t ask. What cookbooks did

Hilary: you do? They’re all out

Rita: of print now. Is that, but I’m fascinated to hear what kind of books they were.

Hilary: Oh the first cookbook I ever did was called Great Grilling. And. It was I worked with a friend. We did the, he did the photography, I did the food styling and the recipe development. So it was a really fun project to do. And then after that. It was, I was co-authoring, garden entertaining, and the international burrito. So basically you can put anything in a wrap.

[00:43:00] That’s right. Even peanut butter and jelly.

Rita: I love it. Oh, how fascinating. Oh, how wonderful. Oh, thank you for sharing everything with us, and I know you gotta get to bed. It’s been a long day. Yeah, no, it’s fine. Thank

Hilary: you. You’re wonderful. I am so grateful to you. Thank you so much for everything you do. I really can’t thank you enough.

Rita: It’s truly and sincerely my joy. So thank you very much for coming on, Hilary. Take care. Wow. Thank you Hillary. What a great conversation. And when you talk to somebody about somewhere you’ve lived and you get to relive your experience there, I just totally could associate with the I lived in New York in the eighties but I remember that era of supermodels and so fascinating. Anyway, so thank you so much, Hillary, that was really powerful. And if you would like to join me for my free masterclass. Please sign up. The links are in the show notes or hit up

[00:44:00] to www. Shiftweightmastery. Com/free and sign up. It’s easy, you can access it from your phone, your tablet, your desktop. It’s absolutely free. So I will look forward to seeing you there and have a great week. And remember that the key, and probably the only key to unlocking the door of the weight struggle is where that’s right inside of you. So keep listening. And find it and I’ll be here next week with you. Hope you’ll be here. Bye. Do you wanna dive deeper into the mindset of long-term weight release? Head on over to www shift weight mastery. Com. That’s www shift weight mastery. Com, where you’ll find numerous tools and resources to help you unlock your mind for permanent weight release tips, strategies, and more. And be sure to check the show notes to learn

[00:45:00] more about my. Book from Fat to Thin Thinking. Unlock your mind for permanent weight loss.