Rita Black: You worked hard to lose weight and for a while you were feeling great, lighter, healthier, and in control, but then life happened. Stress, old habits creeping back in, or maybe just a little too much. I’ll get back on track tomorrow. Before you know it, the scale is inching up. Maybe it’s just a few pounds or maybe it’s more than you expected. And that sinking frantic feeling sets in sound familiar? First of all, take a breath. Whether you’ve gained five pounds, 15, or more, this doesn’t mean all your progress is lost. The key is knowing what to do next without guilt, panic, or extreme dieting. So today I am breaking down the five do’s and five don’ts to take back control after weight gain so you can stop gaining, reset your habits, release the weight, and regain your confidence. So take a nice deep breath in, you’ve got this, and now come on in.

Rita Black: Did you know that our struggle with weight doesn’t start with the food on your plate or get fixed in the gym? 80% of our weight struggle is mental. That’s right. The key to unlocking long-term weight release and management begins in your mind. Hi there, I’m Rita Black. I’m a clinical hypnotherapist weight loss expert, bestselling author, and the creator of the Shift Weight Mastery Process. And not only have I helped thousands of people over the past 20 years achieve long-term weight mastery, I am also a former weight struggler, carb addict and binge eater. And after two decades of failed diets and fad weight loss programs, I lost 40 pounds with the help of hypnosis. Not only did I release all that weight, I have kept it off for 25 years. Enter the Thin Thinking Podcast where you too will learn how to remove the mental roadblocks that keep you struggling. I’ll give you the thin thinking tools, skills and insights to help you develop the mindset you need, not only to achieve your ideal weight, but to stay there long-term and live your best life. Sound good? Let’s get started.

Rita Black: Hello, my thin thinking friends and newcomers too. Hello. Come on in and get cozy. And you know what? Let’s do it. Let’s just take a nice deep breath in wherever you are, in your car, on a walk in your office, in the kitchen, and let it go. And let’s just all be here together for a moment and settle, because today we are gonna talk about what to do when you begin gaining weight after releasing some weight. Uggh. And it’s the worst, isn’t it? So I’ve been thinking about this episode for a while and you know, I hear bits and pieces all the time of people like, oh, I was doing so well, and then I start gaining weight back, right?

Rita Black: What do we do when we start gaining weight back after being so focused? Ugh, it’s the worst feeling and it often ends up in spiraling back up the scale. So I am excited to dive in because I am assuming that just about everybody here knows a little about gaining weight after losing weight. Am I right? And if you have never gained weight after losing weight, are you sure you’re listening to the right podcast?No. Just kidding. You can stay and everyone who knows that horrible, awful place, I feel you 100% because I have been there and done that so many times. I feel like I should have a stock in an elastic waste band company, right, or many stocks. So whether you are currently in the struggle with gaining weight or just, you know, want some coaching for maybe, perhaps some time in the future, I am looking forward to digging into this topic with you today.

Rita Black: But first, before we do, I want to let you know that we have a pre spring promotion of my free online masterclass is free, and it’s online, and it’s a masterclass, and it’s called How to Stop the Start Over Tomorrow Weight Struggle Cycle, and Begin Releasing Weight for Good. And if you haven’t joined me for this, please, please do. You, we really are focusing in the masterclass on the mind shifts that you can make to break outta the weight struggle and giving you mental tools to work with your subconscious to work past those mental roadblocks that keep you struggling with your weight. And we will do a hypnosis session, a weight release, hypnosis session that people just love to focus on your success. So sign up, you can either go to www.shiftweightmastery.com/free, that’s www.shiftweightmastery.com/free, or you’ll find the link in the show notes.

Rita Black: Alright, so I’m gonna go through five count ’em, five don’ts to completely don’t do if and when the scale ever starts to creep up. And of course, with all those do’s, we need a few do’s. So I’m gonna give you five do’s to do if the scale starts creeping up. Sound good? So we all know that horrible feeling, okay, the scale is going up, the pants are getting tighter, everything was going well, but then the holidays happened or you went through a stressful time or you went away and tasted everything and somehow all that focus you had for releasing weight or maintaining the weight you released went away. This may have happened over hours. I certainly remember times hitting my magical weight loss number and then going out that day and celebrating by eating and was immediately moving up the scale. But sometimes things are going great, you have the focus, you lost the weight, but now the event is over, like the wedding or the reunion or the trip, and you loosen your grip and your pants start to get a little tighter.

Rita Black: Or it could just be that slow creep up the scale over time you do well, you maintain. But then along comes the holidays and we gain a few pounds and we try to refocus, but then we go away for a few days and come back with a few more pounds gained. And then we go through something stressful or someone gets sick and the old habits come back, we see the number going up and we try to pull back and restrict. And it seems like you have less and less willpower power. Oh, I remember one time avoiding the scale during a weight gain period before I made my shift. And I kept saying, okay, I’m gonna be really good on Monday, and then I’ll get on the scale next week. So, you know, I kept pushing off and getting back on the scale. So I’ll get on the scale next week and then I would be good for a day or two, and then I would be bad and beat myself and go, okay, I’m gonna get on the scale next week.

Rita Black: Okay. I would be really good for a couple of days and then be bad and yada yada over and over for, you know, a a few months until I got on that scale. And I knew it was gonna be bad news and it was because I was up 25 pounds. And you know what? I was so mad at myself. But you know why I was so mad at myself? It was about the weight gain, of course. But the worst part, and maybe you can feel me on this one, maybe you’ve gone through this too. The worst part was I didn’t even really have any fun gaining that weight. You know, you should at least have fun. If you were gonna gain the weight that would’ve been worth it. Maybe, but no, I screamed and yelled and abused myself pretty much all the way up the scale.

Rita Black: And that’s what we do, right? It’s the worst feeling, this self-abuse. So guess what? My number one don’t is for you here today, my friends. If you start gaining weight, number one, don’t beat yourself up. Yes, guess what? I know you, it’s the first thing you start doing when that scale goes up. When we’re losing weight, oh my god, we are being good. And it’s a high, right? It’s a dopa genic event being good on a plan. We see ourself as good. So we self see our fabulous identity because we are being so good in this, this place where we get the gold stars for perfection and we ride this high and of being good. But what happens when that honeymoon is over? Or we get bored or we have a bad day or week or month and we get on the scale and or we put on the pants that fit so well last week and yikes, yikes, the yikes horror, the scale is up.

Rita Black: And what happens? What happened to that self-identity of being so great being so perfect? Oh, well, that identity is gone. Is there any kindness or understanding when you stand on that scale or unsuccessfully try to zip up that zipper. Oh no. All the horrible self-abuse comes in. You are a loser. See, you were kidding yourself with being good, yada, yada, yada, yada. You’re a loser. You can’t do it. You can never do it. Why did you think you could? Right? Because when we struggle with weight, our mind and our inner self speak only knows two gears being good and being bad. So when the scale is up, you’re bad and everything is wrong, and that whole glittery and good, you immediately becomes bad. All the glitter drains out and the ugly duckling the person who can’t be successful and all the negative and frantic inner self speak comes in making us feel chaotic and anxious and disappointed, bitterly disappointed.

Rita Black: And all the darkness that we held down in our subconscious during our period of being good comes bursting out and right into our consciousness. So guess what this does? Does it help? No, it stresses you out. We feel panicked. Alarm bells begin ringing in our head. This can’t be happening. No, this can’t be happening. I was being so good. And guess what happens when we’re stressed? We eat even more. Our conscious willpower mind shuts off and our limbic system takes over and we’re at the mercy of old habits. And if our habit is to eat to comfort ourselves, well guess what? That’s what we’re gonna do. So please do not despair. Let’s let the inner critic take a vacation. And if the scale starts to ascend, let’s bring in a much nicer voice, a much better inner voice instead of our inner critic. Let’s bring in the voice of our inner coach, who is the strategist, the problem solver, and the nurturer.

Rita Black: And guess what your inner coach is going to want to do first before anything else. Are you guessing? Well, guess what my number one to do would be. And if you’re a student of mine, you probably guessed this already, and if you thought or guessed I need to forgive myself, well, aren’t you clever? Because you are so right. So my number one do for you if the scale starts to go up is to immediately forgive yourself. You see, we, when we struggle, we don’t believe in self-forgiveness. We, we think that it is the furthest thing that we should do is it’s the, the the last on the list. Because why would we forgive ourselves? Because we have been bad. And if we forgave ourselves and kind of let ourselves off the hook, we would be this wild uncaged beast, you know, eating everything inside.

Rita Black: But that’s actually not true. Why don’t we believe forgiveness is the answer here? Because we start gaining weight, we think we need to whip ourselves into shape, right? We can’t be trusted. We’ve got to whip the overeating weight beast back into shape to behave and to be good again. But as you’ve probably seen, it doesn’t work like that. The louder the critic, the louder the rebel and the rebel will counter attack with just wanting to eat everything. So we have to forgive ourselves. And, and research has shown this, that self-compassion allows us to self-respect and reconnect with ourselves and actually adhere to healthier behaviors. Even though you think self-forgiveness will give you a license to eat more, it actually works in an opposite direction. It allows us to align with ourselves and respect ourselves again. And guess what we need in order to truly advocate, communicate, and show up for ourselves on our weight journey.

Rita Black: Self-Compassion is a huge part of shifting your mindset. We don’t realize even when things are going well, we build up all these little resentments against ourselves. So when we are gaining weight, all the resentments that are stored in our subconscious causing a lack of trust in our ability to be successful in the long term they build up. And so ultimately they work against us. So self-forgiveness and, and I, you know, I’m a big fan of forgiving ourselves, often just to kind of clear out the cobwebs of all those little resentments that build up and disconnect us from ourselves in the shift. We do this way more in depth. But let’s try this now, let’s just do some self forgiveness and I’m gonna have you do something and, you know, if you’re driving your car, obviously you can’t stop and write this out, but you can just bring to your mind a couple of things and if you can pull your co car over to the side of the road if you wanna fully participate, because I will be having you close your eyes.

Rita Black: But and I do not recommend doing that while you’re driving. But if you are seated or at home here, you might even take out a pen and paper. So I just want you to write out three top resentments that you have with yourself. And they don’t even have to be clever, but just list them, you know, and what, what would a resentment look like? Well, you know, whatever comes to your mind, it doesn’t really matter. I gained five pounds over the holidays, or I’ve lost my focus, or I can’t stop eating after dinner, or I haven’t exercised in two weeks or hate my stomach or, or anything that just pops into your subconscious mind when you ask yourself, what am I resentful about around my weight? So go ahead and hit pause and just get a couple of things going in your mind.

Rita Black: I’ll just be waiting here for when you come back. Okay? How was that? Do you, did you get a few? Alright, good. Now we’re gonna, now we’re gonna work on our forgiveness. So in front of, so if you’ve written this out and, and you can just do this in your mind, if you want in front of that, that top resentment, let’s say my top resentment is I gained five pounds over the holidays. Well, it’s really simple, we will just say internally to ourselves, but we’re gonna do this with our eyes closed. ’cause I’m gonna give you a structure. But you can write, I forgive myself for having gained five pounds over the holidays. So you wanna put, I forgive myself, four in front of those things. And riding it out actually helps. It just kind of gives you, grounds you in that, that phrase.

Rita Black: And it, and it kind of, it starts connecting you to yourself. But if you can’t do that, that’s cool. Just do your best. So what I’m gonna have you do is take a nice deep breath in and close your eyes and we’re gonna work on the first resentment. And all you need to do is say, I forgive myself for whatever that first thing is three times. So you wanna repeat it three times to yourself. And if you’ve done these with me before, you may have, if you’ve been listening to the Thin Thinking Podcast enough or have been a student of mine, but we do it for three because the first time it kinda lands on a shallow place, every time you say it, you get a little deeper cut and allow yourself to get a little deeper cut, open up your heart a little more, okay?

Rita Black: And I want you to put your hands, I invite you, I don’t want you to, but I invite you to put your hands over your heart. This is a really helpful pose to just kind of open up your heart and bring that forgiveness energy in. And you can also if you like what was I gonna say to you? So what you’re gonna do is you’re gonna say it three times, and at the end of the third time that you say the phrase, I forgive myself for X, Y, Z, take that shift, breath in and pull that forgiveness around your heart. And if you’ve done this with me before, just dive right in because you know how great it makes you feel. And if you’ve never done this before and it feels a little goofy that’s okay. I think you’re gonna really like this. So go ahead and we’ll, we’ll work with the first one and then you can go back and do more later. ’cause I’ve got lots more to do with you today. And so I’m just gonna give you a little sample of how it feels. So go ahead and take a nice deep breath in, and as you exhale, close your eyes and just settle

Rita Black: And just notice your breath for a moment. Notice the beating of your heart and just be here now. And let’s begin with that phrase, I forgive myself for X, Y, Z. So go ahead and say that three times to yourself. I’ll give you a moment and then I’ll guide you through taking a breath and bringing in that forgiveness. So I forgive myself for

Rita Black: Good finishing up. And then take that nice deep breath in, pulling that forgiveness around your heart and just imagining that forgiveness, that ice around your heart, melting towards yourself. Just take another nice deep breath in and feel that connecting power of that forgiveness and let it go. Now usually we would go through all three of those, but I’ll let you do that. But, but that’s just a taste of what it the opportunity is. So if you are standing on the scale and the the, the scale is up, just, you know, say I forgive myself for overdoing it last night, you know, and, and really work on that connection with yourself. We’re gonna work on what to do after that. But the first step is to reconnect or stay connected with yourself rather than beating yourself up disconnecting from yourself. Because when you lose that, when you disconnect from yourself and beat yourself up, you do not believe in yourself.

Rita Black: You do not have respect. And no weight loss journey ever came from a place of disbelief and disrespect. Right? You, you would not. That that is why we fail, is we have no belief in ourself and we we’re just reacting instead of acting from a place of power, we’re acting from a place of disempowerment. So it’s very important for you to stay connected and to believe in yourself. So once you’ve forgiven yourself, what is that next step? Well, what most people try to do after beating themselves up, which usually backfires is drum roll, please. They will quickly and automatically go back to trying to be good. So they’re going back to being good. That is the next thing that they try to do. So number two, number two, don’t, do not, and I repeat, do not try to get back to being good.

Rita Black: See, it’s so interesting ’cause I’ve been doing this for 22 years, and if somebody gets a little off track, what do we do? We say, I’ve gotta get back to being good. I’ve gotta get back to being good. But we can’t. And, and hear me out, we have this, this idea that there was a magical time in place where we were being good. And if we could just wave that magical wand and go back to that place of perfection where we were before, everything would be fine. And then we’ll lose the weight again. And then, and then we’ll be great. But number one being good is what got you in trouble in the first place, or only good because of the, the, the dynamic of being good and being bad. ’cause When you’re being good and you’re being good on something outside of you, it isn’t even really you.

Rita Black: It’s, you’re being good on something. It’s a and and it’s a measuring stick that you aren’t internalizing any internal change. And whatever was driving your, you know, focus before you are not there now, you know? So, so there’s two things. There’s being good. We don’t wanna be good. We, we wanna build skills and we wanna create a long-term way of being with ourselves that allows us to live at our ideal weight. We don’t wanna like squeeze ourself into this idea of being good because that’s always, always going to boomerang. You can’t get back there. People try to get back and you can’t, your life is different. A lot of times when we start gaining weight, we’re just in a different place. Maybe we’re stressed out, maybe something’s changed. And you know, when I point that out to people, they’re like, oh my God, you’re right.

Rita Black: You know, I was, I had more time. You know, a lot of times people change jobs or they’re, they start taking care of somebody or they’re they go through a divorce or life gets really crazy and they aren’t in the same place that they were when they began that for that initial weight release journey. So here’s another thing that being good tends to do, because we are in so much pain. IE self-abuse because we are gaining weight. And that it is so not okay. We are so not okay with gaining weight. And we see ourselves as being bad. We, when we try to go back to being good we are, we go super restrictive, probably way more restrictive than you were when you first began to focus on weight release. But, but we’re so panicked that we’ll be like, I’m not going to eat anything or I’m going to eat.

Rita Black: I, I once had a client who said, I need to lose 30 pounds in 30 days. I was like, that’s physically impossible. She’s like, but I’ve got to, I’ve got to. I was like, there, you just physically cannot release 30 pounds in 30 days. She’s like, it, it, there was just this panic on her face. So we’ll cut the calories more, we’ll do double the workout. We’ll say no sugar and no booze. But, but when we’re super harsh and squeeze on ourselves, do you hear that Boomerang flying around right now? It’s like, it going super restrictive, just makes us stressed, makes us feel deprived and dare I say, off internally punished for bad behavior. And guess what? We end up feeling deprived and and then there’s a part of us just breaks and says, okay, I’ll be good tomorrow. I’m just going to eat now. I’ll start next week. And we get back into that cycle. I’m gonna be good then I’m being bad and I’m being good. I’m being bad. Has this ever worked?

Rita Black: So don’t try to lose or release, which is the word we like to use, what you’ve gained super fast. I know it’s a painful place to be. I know we want to get rid of that weight super fast so that we can just love ourselves again. But love yourself now. Own yourself where you are now. You need to be where you are today. Own yourself. Appreciate yourself. Forgive yourself. Love yourself where you are today. Give yourself some love, some lovings, as my friend would say, I need to give you some lovings. But give yourself some love. And I don’t mean in a woowoo, you know, the the kumbaya way. I mean, you know, you’re a powerful person. Have some respect for yourself. Know you know how to release weight, but do it from a place of power and not a place of panic. ’cause The panic ain’t gonna help you. It’s just gonna drive that old vicious cycle again and again. Okay? So do, do, do take a breath, do step back and assess where are you right now? Where are you in, just in a loving way. Take a look at where you are in your life.

Rita Black: Chances are you may not be in the same place, right? And we, we start, started that conversation. You know, we go through stress, we go through, or maybe we’re traveling or we’re giving care to somebody. So you’ve got to get real about that. An approach with a strategy that honors where you are in life. And, and, and again, what has been the challenge? ’cause There’s usually some sort of challenge, either conscious or subconscious that is driving the eating, that is driving the weight gain. So what is needed? And again, we wanna approach this with self-respect. You know, we wanna say, I respect myself and I’m overeating, something must be going on. Let me get curious instead of critical. We had a episode on that a couple of episodes ago, so check that out. But yeah, we wanna get curious. Now, full disclosure for those of you who know me you know, I released 40 pounds and I’ve kept it off for 30 years.

Rita Black: Something I would say that, you know, is somewhat miraculous, but, but we know it’s totally doable when you engage your mind powerfully, like we all focus on doing here. But here, the, here’s the thing. In those 30 years, the scale has crept up. But the key is I know how to bring it down. And it isn’t through willpower of discipline. It’s through using strategies that I’m sharing with you today. And those of you, many of my students who are maintaining their ideal weight know that once you reach your ideal weight, we, we kind of consider maintenance a range between five pounds above your ideal weight and five pounds below. This gives us a mental flexibility so we don’t freak out. And it really gives us that, that ability to practice the skill of getting back on track. Because, you know, we often get off track in life, gain a couple of pounds, but in maintenance you just really hone that skill of getting back on track. And it is a skill.

Rita Black: So and those of us, meaning me and you know, my students and those people out there in the world who are maintaining their ideal weight for a significant period of time during that time in my life, I have kept my weight, you know, in that range. Except one time when my weight crept up, a few pounds above that range, a few pounds, like, you know, so I was probably eight pounds above my ideal weight. And that was when my mom passed away. And it was a very, very, very challenging time because she had cancer and she had cancer for a very long time. And my daughter was a baby and colicky. And, and it was hard. I was working full-time helping people ironically release weight. And it was tough. And I found myself starting to do something I hadn’t done in a long time, which was comfort eat. I was turning to carbs more and had these really crazy cravings for brownies, which those of you who know me know this story a little bit. So my mom was a baker and she was an amazing woman. And, and, you know, I really loved her. And, and so her being sick was just, you know, it was hard. It was really the, the end of a big chapter for me. And sorry.

Rita Black: So because she was a nurturer, she would bake baked goods and brownies was something that I, I don’t know, it just kept coming up. And I start, I was eating them and I was like, but then, you know, I, I know how to work with myself. I, I stopped. And I said, it’s not about the brownies. It’s not about the brownies. What is this drive to eat the brownies about? So I just allowed myself to get curious and, and when I got curious, I was like, what is this about? What is this about? And and it came to me. It was like the brownies were my mother. The brownies were nurturing. The brownies equaled mother’s love, which I didn’t have. And I certainly wasn’t giving myself ’cause I was being very hard on myself at the time. I was driving myself, you know, it’s, you know, was doing my business.

Rita Black: I was I had a colicky daughter. I was not sleeping well at night. My mood was just all over the place. I had hormones raging because, you know, I had given birth, I was breastfeeding, I was, and I was flying up and back and forth from LA to Seattle, you know, in my spare time. And I just, and now that my mom had passed, I wasn’t having to do that anymore, but I was just kind of picking up the pieces of everything that had happened. And I I, and I was, you know, just reaching for food and, and, and I was like, I can’t, I, this is not about food. This is about, you need, you have a deeper need, Rita, and you’ve gotta find a way. ’cause There was a part of my brain saying, well, you don’t have time to nurture yourself and you don’t have the money to like, get a nanny or you know, anybody to take care of your daughter other than your husband.

Rita Black: And we were both stressed. So, but you know, you get to that point where you’re like, I’ve got to take my life back. And I’ve got to, you know, I started talking to my mom instead of eating, and I started, you know, internally talking to my mom and asking her for help. And, and, you know, and, and I got brave enough to just find the time, you know, ask my husband to help me out more. I just had to ask for help. I I asked for some counseling help. I, you know, I started showing up for myself. I started nurturing myself. I started you know, just connecting on a deeper level with myself because I had gotten away from that because just so much had happened at that one time. And if you are struggling right now, my guess is, you know, you start beating yourself up, but you also get away from that part of you that is the amazing problem solver.

Rita Black: The part of you that is curious and that can come up with practical solutions. So you know, I started walking again because I had stopped, you know, you know, exercising then the way that I had been exercising when I had my baby. And I, you know, like I had to kind of create some structure in my life and I slowly started releasing weight, and I was not pushing myself to release weight fast. I allowed myself to release at quarter of a pound a week. You know, it’s was like, let’s just do this slow and steady and just let’s, you know. And it, you know, the weight came off. But for me, it wasn’t even the weight. It was that loss of connection with myself and the way that I knew how to connect. And it was just because life had gotten so overwhelming and we gotta dig deep sometimes.

Rita Black: So I hope that kind of helps you see that the answers are not going back to some magical time when you were being good, but to really rigorously show up for yourself with self-love and self-respect. Get curious, get some answers for yourself. It will calm you down. You’ll be able to use your strategic brain and really start to assess the situation and your needs here in the moment. Now, and I’ve counseled many people, Hey, maybe you don’t wanna release two pounds a week. Maybe you wanna just take it slow because right now you’re taking care of your mom, or you are in a really stressful situation, or you’re going through a divorce, or you’re not where you were when life was a lot easier and you had all that time or all that focus. We go through seasons in our life, and some seasons we don’t have the focus that we usually do, and we have to adapt and be flexible.

Rita Black: The reason why I am here talking to you today is because I learned that being flexible, and it’s not always a rigid, I have to release a pound a week, and it has to look like this. Long term permanent weight mastery is about flexibility, but it is about consistently showing up for yourself and giving yourself that respect. Okay? So, sorry, I didn’t mean to, you know, but whatever. I thank you for giving me that moment. So I wanna bring you to three now, which is don’t underestimate the power of refined carbs over your eating. Okay? This is, we’re completely switching gears here now, but I, for those of you who are new to me, you maybe don’t know about the carb zombie, but those of you who know me, you know that carbs don’t very well. So here’s, here’s the thinking is generally when, you know, again, I’ve worked with thousands of people, over 20 plus years, you get to know this, you know, and everybody’s different, but everybody’s the same on some level and in a good way.

Rita Black: And most of us who struggle with weight are, have a genetic propensity for sugar and refined carbohydrates. You know, some are lower and some are way higher. And we have trigger foods. And here’s the thing. When we’re good on a diet, generally we’re cutting out all the crap, the, the refined carbs that trigger our brain and send it into a dopa magenic crazed state, what I like to call the carb zombie. And for those of us who have been wired, because our brain gets wired in a particular way for sugar and refined carbs. And then we have this genetic propensity, and we have wired in emotions. We have are wired in situations and times and emotions. All this really intricate wiring that is, you know, it is very individual to each person. My trigger foods and my wiring is different than my neighbor’s than than yours.

Rita Black: And, you know, so, but what typically happens is when we’re being good is we’re, we are probably eating more protein, fewer refined carbs, more vegetables, more fruits, and typically, or, or we’re eating protein drinks and protein like, like just we’re keeping our carbohydrate intake fairly low. I mean, you know relatively. And and then what happens is we’ll do well, and then we will loosen our grip and we will eat a few refined. Oh, well, you know, I can loosen my grip now, which you can, I’m, you know, we, we are not talking about a no carb diet here, but we’re just talking about what happens is, we’ll, our brain and body will get engaged again. And once that, what I call the carb zombie kind of gets engaged, that part of the brain will start to take over and we’ll go into eating overdrive.

Rita Black: We’ll feel hungrier, we’ll be looking around for food again. We’ll feel insatiable. We’ll, like, why can’t I be satiated after a meal? Like, we’re, we’re just like thinking about food all the time where it’s like, what happened when I was so good and I didn’t even think about food and I was eating so well, it’s like because your brain and body were in a state of you know, dormancy with that carb zombie, it’s almost impossible to release weight when that part of the brain is super engaged. So you know, when we do the shift, we, we get into a more a deeper dive into this. And we get into like, you know, we have this, this kind of, what I would call a mastery way of eating that isn’t a diet, but it’s just like we know which foods trigger our brain, but we also have these, what I would call buffer foods, where, you know, you can live your life, you can eat bread, you can drink wine, but you just are, you start to be more tuned into your body and what goes on in your body and you start, oh yeah, you know, I’m getting triggered again.

Rita Black: Let me chill out on that stuff. And what that allows you to do is actually create a way of eating that allows you to live out in the real world, but be, you know, mindful. And if you go too far overboard, which I have done many times in my long-term permanent weight mastery journey, I just described one. But we kind of have to bring our, we have to hibernate the zombie again, and that usually means by eating healthfully and upping the protein and lowering the, especially getting rid of the carb carbs that were causing the problem in the first place. So I hope that makes sense to you. So elevate the protein, meaning, you know, getting it up there over 60 grams, 70 grams, 80 grams, and you know, I’m not a huge believer in one gram for every pound of weight you weigh, because I just think that that might be way too much.

Rita Black: But, you know, I’m not the food police here. I never have been. I just kind of give like, eh, well, you know, when you’re getting up to 60, 70 grams, you’re getting enough to stabilize and nourish your body and then keeping your carbohydrates lower. And I mean, complete carbohydrates, not net carbohydrates, but, you know you know, below a hundred fifty, a hundred twenty five, that even might be high for some people. You know, my little sweet spot is like 80, 80, 90, which is still carbs. Like, it’s a nice amount of carbs. And, and I will go over that amount, Ben. And again, I’m not sitting there counting all the macronutrients on a daily basis, but it’s just like you start to get a, a feeling for what feels right for your body. So one thing I would say that I’ve seen consistently with people who get off track and are struggling is they’ve allowed trigger foods to get into their house.

Rita Black: And trigger foods are the foods that you know, you have an issue with. And again, your trigger foods might not be my trigger foods. So we all have to just be honest with ourselves and go, I’m letting Bobby Sue bring in those potato chips to my house. And, and that’s what’s been the issue. Or I’ve, you know, somebody started bringing bagels to work and I’ve allowed my, and bagels are a trigger for like, so you have to kinda look and step back and, and, and really focus on eating protein, lower carbohydrate, and if there’s a problem, food in your house, get rid of it, you know, just get rid of it or you know, you can figure out that relationship with that thing at some other time. But honestly, stimulus control is a huge part of weight mastery. And, you know, hide it, put it in a cupboard, have your husband or your children ticket and put, you know, hide it for whatever.

Rita Black: It’s just like, and oh, but I don’t wanna, I should be able to live with that in my house. It’s like, why? You know, if it’s, if it’s a challenge for you, if your loved one was like shooting up some drug and, and they’re like, well, but I should be able to have meth in the house. I mean, I just should be able to resist it. It’s like, well, really, okay. No, you get rid of it. You know, just, just do love yourself. Do yourself that favor. Okay? So and then here’s the other thing though. This is, you know, this is why I’m having this little talk with y’all is you don’t underestimate the power of fine carb. So that’s the don’t, sorry, I’m having to go back and differentiate between the don’t and the do. So do a protein, do lower your carbohydrates and practice stimulus control.

Rita Black: Okay? We’ve covered all that, but do allow yourself some treats. Long-Term weight management is like an art, you know, it’s like you’re striking a balance and it’s nuanced. So why so, so cognitive studies have shown that people will do way better on a weight release plan if they allow themselves one treat a day, right? So, and why that is is ’cause the brain will look forward to it. It was like, oh, I get my treat right? So I’m willing to forego all the donuts at breakfast you know, that are being offered up in the staff room, or I’m willing to forego that Starbucks creamy blabbity blah this afternoon because I know tonight I’m gonna sit down, I’m gonna have my little square of dark chocolate or my berries with cream, or whatever the treat is, even though you’ve gained wage and you feel like I should not eat anything that looks like it’s yummy or that I enjoy because I should be completely punished and take everything away.

Rita Black: It’s like, no, you don’t give yourself a treat because you’re gonna then stay more consistent and you are gonna feel like you’re taking care of yourself, okay? If that wasn’t fun enough. Now, number four, don’t, and you guys are gonna love on me this for this one, don’t avoid the scale. Don’t let your fear and emotions run you. I know you all are like, what the hell is she talking about? So here’s the thing, how often have I heard? Well, I’m waiting to lose a few pounds and then I will get back on the scale next week, and then the next week comes, well, I’m just gonna wait till next month and then I’m gonna get back on the scale. And you know, you know how that goes. Why do we avoid the scale? First of all, we make it mean way, way, way, way, way, way, way more than it should.

Rita Black: We make it mean that we’re either good or bad, we make it mean that we are worth something or we are worthless, or we make it mean we can celebrate or despair. So often the school of thought is to throw out the scale. Let’s just not weigh ourselves, and that’s fine. We can love ourselves for who we are, and we can throw out the scale. I, I’ve thrown out many of scales in my day, but if you’re like me, you still gave the power to weight. Here’s the thing, back in the day, you know, it was like, well throw out your scale and go buy how your clothes fit. You, I have to laugh because I had a pair of pants, these black pants that I called my magic black pants because I could literally gain or lose 20 pounds in these pants and they would still fit me, right?

Rita Black: They were the, they were the magic pants, right? What a mind game. I played with myself because if they, I, I was like, I just dried them. And so that’s why they’re tight, you know? So I would worry about like how, you know, how many times I’d worn them? Were they stretched out? Were they just out of the dryer? You know, I would look at my butt in the mirror as or in the window as I, am I fat? Am I thin? I still obsess about myself, am my weight, you know, 24 7, regardless of if I stood on the scale or not. Do you know what I mean? So what, from a cognitively correct standpoint, like, here’s this multiple studies show that record keeping and weighing actually help you stay cognitively correct. And what I’ve observed in myself and many, many people, I love to calm my students or people I know, is that it can calm you down because it gets you back in the black and white, the black and white of just facts, rational thinking versus emotional thinking.

Rita Black: But you need to use your mind in the right place. So don’t avoid the scale. Do get the data, stay in a rational scientist mode. That’s what we’d like to call it a scientist mode. So get on the scale. So here’s some coaching, here’s some coaching and some lovings for getting back on the scale and getting the number. The scale, just to remind you, is just a piece of metal or glass. It isn’t judging you, you are judging you, my friends, the scale. Eh, it’s just a thing, you know, it’s an inanimate object, but you are giving it all the meaning. So before you get back on the scale, do the following, summon up your inner critic. You know, the one that’s gonna beat you up when you get on the scale and say, Hey, inner critic, you’ve done a great job. You beat me up.

Rita Black: I, you know, I gained some weight. You really know that I really am a big loser. So I’m gonna tell you, you can just go take a nap because you’ve earned that vacation. Okay? And then, you know, just imagine locking your, not locking, but you know, opening up the door and having your inner critic go sit, take a nap in the back room of your brain, and then you bring your beautiful inner coach, your nurturing, smart powerful strategic part of you, the rational part of you, the scientific part of you say inner coach, stay with me. Now. Let’s stay in a loving, compassionate scientists mode. We are curious, we are not critical. And then before you get on the scale, this is all a whole little prep here because you know, I know it’s you’re nervous and it’s, yeah, hug yourself, just hug yourself or whatever.

Rita Black: Tell yourself you are worthy no matter what the number on the scale is, because guess what? You are, right? You are. And then tell yourself no matter what the number is, you are a smart person and you can and will rationally figure out what steps to take to release the weight, right? So no matter what the number is, you know how to release weight. You can do this when you have your power and you are not giving your power away to emotions, to old mythological ideas, okay? So you’re a smart person, you’re gonna figure it out and tell yourself even something more important and listen up because this is big, this is huge. The weight you gained, no matter how much you gained, if you allow that five pounds, 10 pounds, 20 pounds, 50 pounds, 100 pounds you gained back to teach you the lessons or lessons that you need to learn to never gain that weight again and be confident about that because you now have a more sane, self-compassionate and way more rational approach to weight management than the old good or bad struggle cycle, then you are gaining that weight back will not only be worth it, it will be a gift, right?

Rita Black: So your having gained that weight back can and will be a gift if you choose to learn the lessons of why you gained that weight. You follow me a little radical, but you get that and own that, get that and own that. So now you’re ready to get on that scale. You get on that scale and you look at that number and it’s just a number. Folks, get the number like the loving scientist you are and get off. And now you know, now you’re clear. You have just something black and white that you can work with and make a strategy around. So, whew, take a breath. Now we got that one out of the way. And then as we are, we have our little lab coat on, we have our little interest scientist code on get clear on what you are eating daily also. So it’s gonna help you focus on the road ahead.

Rita Black: You know, just start assessing, you know, start getting into rational decision making and tracking helps you do that. Tracking what you’re eating and maybe you’re tracking just by writing it down. Maybe you’re not doing calories, maybe you’re tracking calories, but just get clear on what you’re eating and how much you’re eating. And it helps, it helps on so many levels for you. See, if you’re getting enough nourishing foods that stabilize you like the protein and you keep your carb zombie in check, it also allows us to just get real with how much we’re taking in. Often when we are in release mode, we are a lot clearer on portions and the amount of energy going in and out, and we see progress and we’re able to make decisions more confidently rather than, I ate that and I was bad and now you know, I’m gonna gain weight. Long-Term studies all back up. That tracking data is a common skill among long-term weight masters. It helps keep you clear. Our brain forgets what we’ve eaten 15 minutes after eatings often times. So we often assume we’re consuming way less than we truly are. And if the scale is going up, it helps to look at that and to look at the numbers. Not to punish yourself, not to deprive yourself, but just to get clear, to get black and white binary rational. Our brain forgets what we’ve eaten 15 minutes after. Can you believe that?

Rita Black: It allows you to get into a strategy mode. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen people’s face just change from anguish to oh interest and oh, that’s what I need to do. Oh, okay, now I’m clear. Oh my gosh, look at how I thought I was eating that and now I’m eating that much. Ah, I get it. No wonder all the craziness and all the frustration and all the mystery just kind of floats away. And you get clear, it calms you down, it puts you back in charge of your weight release. Okay? Now number five, don’t be an island. This is a short one, but I remember all the shame of gaining weight and it’s shameful, right? We hate that feeling. It’s shameful, shameful. It shouldn’t be, but it’s shameful. Hiding behind big clothes, refusing to go out. I kept all of my horror and shame about my weight gain deep inside in the dark.

Rita Black: You know, mushrooms grow in the dark and so does self shame. So sharing your challenges with people who are supporting your weight loss initially will, will help you feel better. It will, it will bring it to the light. Bring those mushrooms of shame to the light and see how they dissipate. You’ll get it out in the open, you’ll feel aligned, you’ll get support again. So that’s like don’t be an island and do get support from others, from the people who supported you in the first place. You know, when you’re doing great, people forget to support you. You have to keep reminding them. It’s, you know, sorry, that’s how human beings operate. They’re pretty self-involved. So you have to, if you want their help, you have to keep reminding them, right? So let your team know, Hey, you know what? I’m going through a tough patch here, gained a couple pounds or gained a lot of weight.

Rita Black: I need your help again. And, you know, maybe you can help work out with me or, you know, can help cook for me or, you know, get the support. So here’s the thing, gaining weight isn’t something to be ashamed of. It is often a part of a powerful weight mastery journey if you allow it to be. You know, you people are like, oh, I gotta go back to the beginning. I was like, why? You are still on your journey. You know, a long-term permanent weight mastery journey has many legs to it. Not the legs you run on, but you know, legs. Like, you know, you, okay, I gained a few pounds. Part of the journey. Okay, now I released those few pounds and now I’m continuing to release. You know, it’s, the journey isn’t over. You’re a powerful hero on a powerful journey. And weight isn’t just about weight, it’s about how you show up for yourself and communicate with yourself, right?

Rita Black: So number one, don’t beat yourself up, but do forgive yourself. Number two, don’t try to get back to being good. Do take a breath, step back, assess and start to strategize. Get curious and get underneath what is going on. Three, don’t underestimate the power of refined carbs on your overeating. Three, do elevate your protein, your lower your carbs and practice stimulus control and add a treat. Four, don’t avoid the scale. Don’t let fear and emotions run. You do. Get the data. Stay in rational scientist mode and get on the scale, but in that loving way, five, don’t be an island. Five, do get support from others or the thin thinking community. So come to my free masterclass and learn more, get some hypnosis get refocused and get moving back on your powerful journey. Thank you friends, thank you for being here today. I hope this was of service to you.

Rita Black: If you are gaining weight, love yourself. I’m here for you. We’re all here for you, sending you powerful energy. You can get aligned, get back on track, and move forward on your weight mastery journey. So have a great week and remember that the key and probably the only key to unlocking the door of the weight struggle, it’s inside you. So keep listening and find it. I will see you here next week.

Rita Black: Thanks for listening to The Thin Thinking Podcast. Did that episode go by way too fast for you? If so, and you wanna dive deeper into the mindset of long-term weight release, head on over to www.shiftweightmastery.com. That’s www.shiftweightmastery.com, where you’ll find numerous tools and resources to help you unlock your mind for permanent weight release tips, strategies, and more. And be sure to check the show notes to learn more about my book from Fat to Thin Thinking, Unlock Your Mind for Permanent Weight Loss, and to learn how to subscribe to the podcast so that you never miss an episode.