Rita Black: Sometimes in life, we hit that place where life becomes comfortable. Okay? But somewhat, eh, meh. Maybe it’s when you’re stuck in a job that you don’t love, or you find yourself without the purpose of raising your kids once they leave home, or you’re retiring but are not sure, or maybe even afraid of pursuing that dream you’ve always wanted to pursue, that bold next chapter in life. If this is you, or maybe you a few years from now, you are gonna love this episode where I interview Laurie Wright, also known as not your average grandma. A late in life purpose finder who left her corporate job to pursue her dream, and is now a master neuro coach. She walks us through her inspiring story of finding her purpose after burning out, and how she helps people now put the spark in their second half of life. Love it. So put down those reading glasses and come on in.

Rita Black: Did you know that our struggle with weight doesn’t start with the food on your plate or get fixed in the gym? 80% of our weight struggle is mental. That’s right. The key to unlocking long-term weight release and management begins in your mind. Hi there, I’m Rita Black. I’m a clinical hypnotherapist weight loss expert, bestselling author, and the creator of the Shift Weight Mastery Process. And not only have I helped thousands of people over the past 20 years achieve long-term weight mastery, I am also a former weight struggler, carb addict and binge eater. And after two decades of failed diets and fad weight loss programs, I lost 40 pounds with the help of hypnosis. Not only did I release all that weight, I have kept it off for 25 years. Enter the Thin Thinking Podcast where you too will learn how to remove the mental roadblocks that keep you struggling. I’ll give you the thin thinking tools, skills, and insights to help you develop the mindset you need, not only to achieve your ideal weight, but to stay there long-term and live your best life.

Rita Black: Hello. Welcome. Come in. I am still recovering. Oh man. This last weekend, my son, my baby, my baby baby boy graduated from high school. I can’t believe it. And he also officially turned an adult because his birthday, his 18th birthday was also last week. And so he is now kind of officially launched. Well, I take that back. We’ll see how the summer goes. We gotta get him into college, right? But I can now see the emptiness of the nest getting bigger and bigger. You know? I can see the outskirts of those. The nest is empty and part of me is very, very sad. Oh my gosh. We were looking through baby pictures and all of the school years, and it just, you know, I’m gonna sound like the biggest old cliche, but where did you know, like, what happened? Where did that go? That was time folding in on itself, because that was yesterday when he was, I was just picking him up from preschool.

Rita Black: Yeah, so we had a big party with all the parents that have seen all the boys through. He has a nice little clan of boys that he’s come up through the school’s, you know, middle school, high school, some of them with him through elementary school as well. But, you know, I’m so excited too. So part of me is sad, and part of me is like, when are you leaving? What date does college begin? Because I can’t wait. You know. I didn’t start having kids until I was 37. So I remember the taste of that freedom and now I’m like, woo. And I’m heading back, heading back into that time where I had my time. Not that I’m, you know, I’m a busy person, but you know, I have so much that I wanna do now that I’m not as focused on my children’s wellbeing.

Rita Black: It’s kind of a joke because in a way, you know, I know I’m not kidding myself. I know given any experience of my, that if I have any, my daughter, you know, I am in a way more in contact with her on a day-to-day basis. She needs, you know, me more almost emotionally as a young adult out in the world because she has questions and she has traumas and dramas and all of that stuff. So I am not, you know, kidding myself. But it’s really nice to know that it’s not gonna be you know, waking up, having to worry about getting myself fed and then them fed to, and then getting ’em out of the house and getting them to where they need to be and then getting them to where they need to be after school. All that stuff that’s gone.

Rita Black: And I think that’s gonna open up a big space in my mind, and that’s why I am bringing on not your average grandma. And that is why it is perfect timing to bring on not your average Grandma Laurie Wright, to talk to me about how we can uncover passion and find the nerve to go for things, even if we feel like we’re too old or don’t have it in us. So you ready? Laurie Wright? AKA, not your average grandma identifies herself as a latent life purpose finder, who had a 30 plus year career in corporate America before finding her true passion as a certified master neuro coach. With her signature program, the Second Half Spark School, Laurie helps women ignite a later in life spark by reconnecting with their authentic self and uncovering what they truly want out of life so they can stop wondering, is this it?

Rita Black: She has also got a podcast called Living Your Sparked Second Half, where she covers topics intended to inspire listeners to live a happier and more fulfilling second half. And you can take her quiz. I’m gonna have it in the show notes to find out what empty nest role you are playing and why it may be keeping you stuck in a passionless passionist – how do I say that? Passionless and mediocre life. Okay. So check out the show notes after the show, but please give a warm and wonderful welcome, A Thin Thinking welcome to Ms. Laurie Wright.

Rita Black: Hello Laurie. Welcome to the Thin Thinking Podcast. It’s great to have you here today.

Laurie Wright: I am excited to be here. Thanks for having me.

Rita Black: You know, when I met you and I heard that you have a business called, Not Your Average Grandma, or I shouldn’t say a business, a calling called Not Your Average Grandma.

Laurie Wright: Well, I did trademark it. So it is technically a business, I guess.

Rita Black: It’s technically a Business, but I know you see it more as a mission or a calling. So what is that all about? Cause that was, I was just like, whoa, that does stop me in my tracks. So tell us what that is about cause I think we’re all really curious.

Laurie Wright: Yeah, that is such a great question. I love starting there because I think it started as a joke actually on Facebook cause I didn’t know what I was doing at the time. But not a joke in the sense of I was feeling, I was going through a health transformation and I was feeling like amazing. And I remember my two grandmothers and they looked old in their late forties, and I thought, like, I am a frigging grandma. And I was 55 at the time and I am getting in the best shape of my life. I was lifting weights and I was, I actually did my first pull up of my entire life. And it wasn’t even a goal, it was just part of the program that I was doing and I had to do it and I hated it. And I was like, oh my God.

Laurie Wright: And I found this band, it was like a resistance band, but it was four pull-ups and it made a pull-up easier. And it, so I, you know, but I eventually did it without, and it’s not like I did 10 in a row. I mean, I think I did three. But it was such this amazing feeling that I was no longer an an average grandma, you know? I was, I was, and I was no longer somebody who was just accepting the status quo of aging and you know, feeling old and crickety.

Rita Black: So you stretched outside of the box that you’ve felt put in as a grandma. Which I do think that label is confronting and an opportunity at the same time, you know, cause I’m not a grandma yet, but I think of, like you, I think of my grandparents who, you know, I’m at 58, I probably will be mid sixties to late sixties before my grandparents. And my grandparents were much younger like yours, you know, like their late forties and you, they already looked old by that time. Right? So when we’re in a different generation, obviously we’re pressing those boundaries, but I love that you started from there.

Laurie Wright: Yeah. And it made me want more, I think. I mean, what else can I do? If I can get healthy in the best shape of my life at age 55, then what else can I do? And through that process, and I say it was a joke because I posted hashtag not your average grandma, you know, pound sign. I didn’t even know what it meant. I didn’t know what a hashtag was, but I just saw other people doing it. And the hashtag was like some funny thing afterwards and I was like, or some point they were trying to make. And so I was just like, okay now you’re out with your grandma. And then I was like, oh my gosh, I can help other people become happier through getting healthier. And because I had had an experience doing it, I thought I know enough now that I can help other people.

Laurie Wright: And so I signed up as a Beachbody coach, so I joined and I hated network marketing. I mean, I was the last person who would say, okay, sign me up. But my daughter, she’s the one who got me into the program cause she had signed up as a coach. And I was like, I wanna help, I wanted to help her because she was excited about her business and I thought, I need to lose a little bit of weight, and so I’ll do it for her. And then when she approached me about being a coach, I was like no. I said, that is sketchy. And I do, you know, they come at you with like, oh, you have your own business and oh, you are like you know, it’s, you’ll get a discount. And so that’s just like, to me, so like, ugh.

Laurie Wright: And so you know, I remember we were in the kitchen of my house and I was probably a little mean to her. I mean, I was just like, no and no. But then I kept working out and kept feeling better and better and better. And you go through this kind of realization of, well, why should I keep this to myself? Why can’t I help other people? So it was the desire to help other people that was greater than my you know, my sketchiness about network marketing and I trusted my daughter that, you know, she was really enjoying it and I was like, okay, I’ll do it. It’s online, I can do it on the side. You know, I was working full-time. So that’s how I got into my love of coaching. And I just loved helping people and guiding people through the process and in that, you know, experience and I was hitting the quotas and winning trips and all that kind of thing.

Laurie Wright: But it was always a high pressure to do that. And I just found myself becoming the workaholic that I was in my corporate life. And it was so, like, it was a, you know, it was like a constant, constant like struggle. To like, pull people in, get ’em on board you know, once you did, they like, had a fantastic experience. But, so I just didn’t like that model. And I also started thinking, you know, they say it’s your own business. It’s not really your own business. I mean, it’s kinda like a mini franchise type of thing because franchises cost a lot of money to buy into, and this is like a low entry fee, but they still take, you know, 75% of what you earn. And so I just started to think two things.

Laurie Wright: Number one, there’s a lot more going on with these people because they gain weight back so, so they can be on a program, but it’s more than working on losing weight. It’s like what’s underneath it all, which you for sure, you know. And so I wanted to help that and wanted to learn more about how I could help them with that and I, yeah. I wanted to be my own boss. I didn’t wanna have to be crunching at the end of the month. I didn’t wanna be on a schedule of you have to get success points. So Yeah. So, I actually stopped and I just decided, you know, I’m not gonna go after that, that I might just, one day, I had been making that quota and exceeding, they had two rank levels and I was like always hitting the second one, the top one.

Laurie Wright: And I was what they call legend. And I had been doing that for two years, 48 months, or not 48, how was it? 24 months. And I just, one day I was like, I don’t wanna do this anymore. And so I stopped and I was like, okay, what am I gonna do? What is it that I wanna do? And that’s when I found James Wedmore who teaches people how to build businesses online. And I met you at a retreat that he did about leadership. Yeah. And I just said, I am gonna create something. I don’t know what it is, but I’m gonna figure it out. And so I just kind of leaned into what my heart was wanting me to do, and I ended up getting a coaching certification. Yeah.

Rita Black: And now you are helping women who are really, not necessarily grandmothers, but like, at this point in our lives where, you know, you are, I am, we are all, you know, looking at the later chapters of our life and you are helping them uncover, like unblock themselves from taking a chance and moving forward with their lives. How do you facilitate, like what is it exactly that you are coaching women through? Because I know you’re helping them find the sparkle, finding their mojo and really believing in themselves so that they can take a, so many of us, you know, because I I have, you know, many people that come across my path who are amazing people with so much to give, but they find themselves blocking themselves or culturally just being kind of held back because they’re like, well, I can’t do that, or, it’s too late for me. That’s what I always hear is like, it’s too late for me. Or, you know, I’ve got too much else going on. I’m taking care of too many people. So, you know, kinda walk me through what that’s all about and how do we start to navigate through that?

Laurie Wright: Yeah. Well, I will say that people who are our age, so I’m 64, we think if we haven’t found our purpose in life, or we think our kids were a purpose that either our purpose is over and we just hang up our hat, or if I had a purpose, I would’ve found it by now. And so those are two beliefs that really keep people from pursuing something new. And a lot of women, because I was, I felt this way, and I can understand a hundred percent is that when your kids leave, and if you loved being a mom, even though I worked full-time, so I wasn’t a stay-at-home mom, I probably would’ve been a horrible stay-at-home mom. But I yeah, I loved my kids. I didn’t miss any of their activities. I coached them in their sports when they were younger.

Laurie Wright: I mean, they, I loved them so much and they were, you know, it was just a big part of my life. We were a family unit. Four, four musketeers, right? And then they leave. And it’s like, it is like a version of a human earthquake, I say, because you’re just whole world gets shattered. Shattered. And so how do you pick back up the pieces of like, and move on? I mean, it’s sad to say because, you know, they’re still alive but your value and what you were being, where you were in the world, and that meaning that you gave, that you felt is just gone. And so how do you get that back? How do you feel that way again? And so I didn’t know, because I didn’t relate that was a form of my purpose for so long.

Laurie Wright: It was a form of my purpose. And so I didn’t realize, you know, I was caught up in a corporate career and I was, you know, part of us, we get stuck because we think I was the breadwinner. I have no choice. I have to stay. And my last corporate job was a soul sucker, it was just like, suck the living soul outta me. Where I’d start dreading going to work like Sunday and count the days down to Friday. And that is not a way to live. That is not a, not your average grandma, you do not live. That’s a very average or below average life.

Rita Black: Right. Well, I also imagine that when your kids were at home and you were putting them through school and there was a purpose also for going to work and a greater purpose, but when they left to that and went out into the world on their own, that also is like, you start to probably question like, why am I still in this job? Or why am I still pursuing something? I mean, I don’t know exactly your timeline, but, you know what I mean? Like, I, my son is leaving home in a few months, like, and I will be an empty nester for the first time. I love what I do. So that’s not the, but, but I can already see that. Yeah. Like you said, it’s gonna be a complete 360 of like my husband and me redefining who we are, what we’re up to. Yeah.

Laurie Wright: Yeah. Yeah. And I think your kids, you know, when you’re doing something you love, it also, it can distract you from other things that need to be fixed.

Rita Black: Yes. Absolutely. It’s an easy out or yeah, if you’re feeling feelings, oh, but I can go over here to what I love and I can avoid that problem over there, for sure and get satisfaction. Yeah. So you went through this and you, you were here at this place in your life, the human earthquake.. Your children left.. So then, then what did you go through to? Tell us more? Like walk us through a little further and into what you were talking about, like how you’re helping people kind of get through that piece.

Laurie Wright: Yes. And so when, once I stopped doing Beachbody and I realized I wanna start my own business, it’s an evolution, right? I’m learning about myself, I’m evolving, I’m, you know, on personal development, on steroids, you know, going through coaching, training, loving everything that I’m doing. And I just started to realize that I am finding new purpose. I am finding new value, new meaning in my getting up in the morning. And it’s not associated with my day-to-day job. And it lit me up. So like, I was excited about getting up in the morning. I couldn’t wait to get home and work on my new business. And I started to realize, and what I was learning through my coaching and the mindset work, I started to build a program around that. And then the further more, the deeper I got, the more I realized just like with my health journey, I now know enough to help people with what I had a problem with. And so I want to help people find new purpose. So now when, and, you know, I help people who don’t have kids as well, but cuz I think, you know, the transition into your last half of life, right? If you were calling 50, kind of the, okay, a lot of change happens. And I have a podcast, so I interview a lot of people and their change and their shift comes like right before they hit 50, which was mine.

Laurie Wright: And so they start to that like, is this the way I wanna live the rest of my life? Is this what’s left? What if I, you know, what if, what if, what if? And do you wanna die with what if as a question? And so I started to be very passionate about wanting more for other people so that they don’t, they don’t get to the end with regrets because that’s where I was headed after my kids left. And so I ended up realizing my marriage was over, which I think was, you know, it was like something I was avoiding doing because my kids filled me up and it was like really easy to focus on something that, you know, brought a lot of joy to my life. And then they left, and there, there, there was like void of joy, void of joy, void of passion. And so the passion word kept coming up to me and it was like, I, I just don’t have any passion in my life, and passion is that, that spark within, right? And so I just went on a personal journey to find happiness again, to not settle and for a life of I basically say, don’t settle for a life you don’t want.

Rita Black: Right. I love that. Yeah.

Laurie Wright: And I think a lot of people don’t even realize that they don’t want it. They just know something’s not feeling right and something’s missing. That’s, that’s more of the feeling.

Rita Black: Well I think, and maybe correct me if I’m wrong, that this journey, it’s, you know, I’m very into the hero’s journey and the idea of, we are also like, when it comes to exploring what’s not right in our lives and moving towards what could be right or the passion, it’s scary because it, you, we are the reluctant hero. We’re like, well, but this is comfortable, you know, part of this is comfortable because it’s the same. It’s, and taking a step out of this comfort will require feeling raw, maybe feeling feelings I haven’t felt before, feeling insecure because, you know, I’m doing something new that I haven’t tried before. And we have to change our perception of ourselves, which I imagine, you know, again, it is exciting and at, on one hand, but it can be scary on the other. I’m sure that’s where a lot of your coaching comes in, is like making that like leap of faith to you know, from the known to the unknown, I guess.

Laurie Wright: Yeah. And we, what I call catastrophize, because we always think the worst case scenario. So when it came to divorcing, you only think about who am I gonna hurt? Who am I gonna disappoint? How is this gonna, you know, what if I’m alone for the rest of my life, right? What if no more Christmases together, no more Thanksgivings together. I loved my in-laws and my in my, not only his parents, but his siblings. Like, what does that look like going forward? We spend holidays together, we go to the boat races every summer. You know? It was like, and divorce was something that neither existed in either side of the family, and so there was so much of me talking myself out of it for so long until I decided to deal with it. And he wasn’t happy either. And so I felt like speaking of heroes, I had to be the hero for both of us so we could have happier lives. And whether that was like separating and then getting back together because we were both better for it. But I just had to decide that I want change and I have to explore and where I will end will be happier than I am now. And that is okay. Wherever that is.

Rita Black: Yeah.

Laurie Wright: And that was the decision I made. So I, yeah. I called myself a scared settler, and I have, I actually have a name for the person who transforms after they find their way and become this happier lit up person, as I call them, a sparked second half soul.

Rita Black: Oh, I love that. Yeah. Yeah. And again, that’s what I love about that too. It’s an identity that you can step into. And, and our mind, the brain loves to be creative, you know, it just doesn’t like delete it. So the idea that you’re taking away something rather than, oh, here’s this, this other thing you can step into and start to adapt to and integrate and become.

Laurie Wright: Yeah.

Rita Black: So that is very cool. So how, what, you know, you’ve worked with a lot of people, right? And w*hat do you see, you know, in your students, like, where are they in their lives? Like what are some different scenarios that people might be in when they’re in that settling stage? You know, I hear maybe one is in a unhappy marriage or a marriage that isn’t maybe necessarily unhappy but just isn’t passionate or isn’t going anywhere. I’m assuming you mentioned your corporate job, there are people who are stuck in a corporate career.

Laurie Wright: Yep.

Rita Black: And are they thinking they should retire and or they thinking, I just need to get a different thing going on or serve the world in a different way. What are some –

Laurie Wright: Yeah. Yeah. So one interesting fact is that a lot of my students are on the verge of retiring, but avoiding it because they have no idea what they wanna do.

Rita Black: Interesting.

Laurie Wright: Or that they know what they wanna do, but they’re too afraid to do it. You know? It’s like they don’t think the net will be there. I have one student and she’s so amazing, and she’s a novelist and she’s now writing her second book series. She somehow, my, my, my newsletter, she got on my newsletter somehow and reached out and just said very nicely, I love what you’re doing, and I have a friend who’s very, she needs to hear what you have to say. I wish, I wish she was excited about life, like you and me. And so I was like, Ooh, I wanted to know why she was excited about life. And she said, well, I, I write books. And I just started writing books. I think she started writing, she, she published three books in a couple of years right after she turned 50. And and she was still working as an accountant, that’s like the two opposite things that she does.

Rita Black: Wow.

Laurie Wright: Yeah. And she was too afraid to take the leap. And so she, she finally did, she’s a little unusual because she had already found her spark. And we, and when we ended up meeting, I ended up having her on my podcast as a guest, and she ended up working with me in, in terms of like growing her business. But I have a lot of people who are so stuck in just that job that isn’t making them happy, but yet avoiding because of fear doing something different, and they just don’t know how to figure out what that is. And so the pattern is that we can’t think anything is possible. we just, our, our brain will not let us think anything’s possible.

Rita Black: Cause we got so stuck in the safety of whatever it is. And that’s very rigid.

Laurie Wright: Yeah. Or only seeing what they’ve seen. Or knowing what they know, what, because which is only what they’ve done or seen other people do.

Rita Black: Right. We don’t know what we don’t know.

Laurie Wright: Exactly. Exactly. And so they take these, they, they put a new set of glasses on and start seeing things in technicolor when things are kind of, you know, just a two color world that they’re living in.

Rita Black: And this is all without drugs, right?

Laurie Wright: Oh, yeah. All without drugs. All without drugs. And a lot of them have, and no, no matter how old we are, we have our parents’ voices in our heads. And believe it or not, there is a lot of mommy and daddy going on in our head. And so even if you had great parents, there are things that will come up as they have for me from way back when that for whatever reason stuck with us. And those things are holding us back and they are things we can’t see on our own. And so when the shield or the veil gets lifted, it’s like, ugh. You know?

Rita Black: It’s like growing up your expectations I think about that because I see this a lot because I see a lot of people, I, in the same age range as you, but sometimes younger too. And I see a lot of people living their, what their parents’ expectations were for them, meaning they wanna be the parents of these people wanted them to be successful. So they became a doctor, a lawyer, like a high powered job. And then they’re so unhappy and, or they might just reach this place in their life where they did everything that was expected of them. They got married, they had children, they have this job and it looks good too, you know, their expectations, but they feel so bankrupt in their life and they’re very unhappy and then they’re numbing with smoking, drinking, you know, what have you.

Rita Black: And I think culturally we have these like deep seated, like you’re saying, expectations that aren’t even ours. There are parents, there are cultures, there are society, you know, media. And then when you start to kind of go, whose expectation is this anyway? And you start to see, this isn’t even mine. This belonged to my parents, like from 30 years ago. Yeah. It’s like the, yeah, your brain kind of close, you’re like, what have I been running from? You know, like, what have I been running? Like these beliefs are running me and they’re not even my beliefs.

Laurie Wright: Yeah. Yeah.

Rita Black: And i love that.

Laurie Wright: One student, which was recent, and, and so these relationships are so key because we think we have no control over other people, with what’s so funny is that when you fix yourself funny, the relationships tend to get better. When you, when you start to show up in a different way, and, and you see things differently and you rewire some of the circuits, it’s amazing what can happen. And one of my students, she shared, you know, her narcissistic mother who like would always pull this, well, I’m not speaking to you in a very manipulative type of person. And we had a coaching call one night and she said, Ugh, she did it again. She’s, she’s, I know she’s not gonna talk. And she’s the one who always would bow down and say, oh, mom, she’d call her back. And she, she felt like she had enough armor built up from what she was learning, that she’s ready to set boundaries. And she said, I’m gonna go call her. I’m not gonna call her back, but she’s never gonna, I know she’s not gonna call me. I know. She said, but that’s okay with me.

Laurie Wright: That’s okay. And you know, like the next coaching call, she said, guess who called me? And we had the best conversation we’ve ever had. And that’s because she started showing up with like, I’m not gonna take your anymore, you know? She started, you know, she didn’t even realize she was showing up that way. But she had, she was learning what her thoughts were, and she was reframing and rewiring the, the automated thoughts that were going through her head. And, and with it, it, it’s, I say, this work is magical because when you start to learn it and do it and become aware of it, yeah. It shifts like things that you did, you didn’t even feel like you had a hand in. It’s really fascinating. Very fascinating. So yeah. So I love her.

Laurie Wright: I had another one. I have some that, some people have something that they loved doing when they were little. Something that they, as a child was a passion, but somebody told them they weren’t good enough, or somebody told them that you can’t do that cause you won’t make enough money. And so they just put on a back burner. And so those are the ones that more quickly tune into, in fact, I do a free training, and that’s part of the, one of the things that people awaken to is, oh my God, I had this thing. And, you know, so I love uncovering that stuff. But some people like me, you know, I liked dogs. I like, do I wanna be a dog trainer? Not really. Don’t wanna be a vet. But anyways so I could never really go there to find a past passion.

Laurie Wright: But I started to look at, okay, what are things that lit me up in the jobs I had? What were the things that lit me up in the, the tasks I did the activities that I did? So that, that’s kind of how I discovered it. But some people come in can quickly shift into, oh yeah, I really love this and let me put together, cause I help people plan and put together really, what do you wanna work on? Because you don’t wanna work on things that don’t light you up. You wanna work on things that do light you up. So let’s find out what lights you up. And so she could not come up with anything like, she was like blank. But if you continue to do the things that will get you into the silence, the things that will get you into out of the busy, because that’s what happens when we, when we’re busy, we’re suppressing when we’re busy, we’re disconnected from the inner voice.

Laurie Wright: And when you, when you start to understand and become aware, there are the answers inside of you. They, they’re there. You just have shut them off. You have blocked them out, shut them off. You are like bluh! An iron door that you’ve slammed shut. And so the more that you can be quiet, the more that you can like, just take time, carve time out in your day to to journal, to listen, to be in just your thoughts. Things come up. And one day, one call, we get on and she goes, after weeks of saying, I, I just, it’s just like whenever I come up with the things that I need to do, it’s just tasks. It’s chores. So well, you gotta dig a little deeper. Gotta be a little more quiet. And she, she had this whole story about how when she was a kid or no kid, a young mom, she decided to end it all. She decided to take her own life. And she had it all planned. And she said, somebody, I’m getting chills from it. Somebody came out of the blue and this is, this is an indicator why things are blocked for her. This stuff started coming up when she knew the answers were inside and she was patient with it. And she said, some friend I had called me outta the blue. And she goes, I don’t even remember what she said, she said, but whatever she said made me change my mind.

Rita Black: Oh, wow.

Laurie Wright: And she said, and that’s what I wanna do for people. And I was like, wow. Wow. And so we have the answers inside, but we think we don’t and we’re searching you know, like externally for them. And that’s what’s so cool is when that happens.

Rita Black: Yeah. Now, what are some things just let’s I’d love to know, I’m curious, what are some things people find like, like that is powerful, you know, helping people who are contemplating suicide. What are some other things like that people have found from their childhood that they decided, oh yeah. That was what I was doing. And, and I really wanna pursue that more deeply now. Like, just for fun. What are some things that you’ve seen people do?

Laurie Wright: Yeah. I mean, I think that, I think one of the biggest things is that people find themselves in the process.

Rita Black: Yeah.

Laurie Wright: We have lost ourselves by being a mom, by being a wife, by being a, a child of older parents. By we are just built to be nurturers. And we nurture ourselves out of our own personality because we want to please other people. We want to fit in and do the right thing. And what happens is that people rediscover themselves. They learn what authenticity really is because they have lost it. And do you know that 70% of the population is living out of alignment with who they were born to be?

Rita Black: Yeah. I believe that.

Laurie Wright: Yeah. I work with a personality expert and he does a, does a call with my, my students. And it’s just shocking and eye-opening. And that’s what I love to do is, is get people reconnected with who they really are. And that was part of my journey. So I actually reconnected with my old college sweetheart after I left my marriage. And he was somebody who I always felt like he could look like, he could look in my eyes, and I felt like he was looking in my soul. And he, we would have the most in-depth conversations. He could read me and I could, I always felt like I was myself. Like I was my literal like bare bones. Like you, you can see everything self. And I never met anybody like him again. You know, I never felt that way with anybody again.

Laurie Wright: I would say I did. I have felt that way with two, a couple of my college roommates, you know, I just like myself. They know the true me. They can even say to me, Laurie, you, you’re, that’s not you. You know? And so reconnecting with him, I think was when I reconnected with myself. And even though you, I say now, I knew I was missing purpose. I knew I was missing what was the meaning I wanna bring to the world. And you don’t really do that through somebody else, but breaking away from my unhappy life and, and taking that step to change and then like reconnecting with him and knowing that’s, that just led me to more authenticity, I think. Yeah.

Rita Black: Oh, beautiful. What would be the, like if you had to say, what would be the first step somebody would take if they were like, oh, this is really resonating with them. Like, what would they take in their lives? Would they, like you said, I’m hearing you say, well, maybe take that time instead of being so busy, maybe set time aside to journal or to pre quiet space for yourself.

Laurie Wright: Yes. Yes. Definitely, yeah. Quiet space, quiet time, stop the noise. I say we have a loud party going on in our head. And I believe that part of my workaholism. So if you are a workaholic and you’re listening to this, beware because your workaholism is on in a way, you’re subconscious protecting you from what you actually need to hear. It’s, it’s saying, no, no, no, you don’t wanna go there because it’s open in a pandora’s box that you’re gonna have to deal with and that was me. Avoidance, avoidance, avoidance. And I even took pride. I was like, I am such a multitasker and I don’t like to sit on the couch. I cannot sit still. I used to like, think that was such a great thing. And now I’m like, oh my gosh, I am not sitting down.

Laurie Wright: I need to fix that. You know, I recognize when that’s happening. So being aware of what you’re doing is, is number one. And getting quiet with yourself and journaling is hard, but just getting quiet. Like, I have my best creative thoughts when I’m in the shower or driving in my car, not listening to anything. And so, like, think about those times. And so just spend, do more of that. Take a walk outside the weather’s getting nice in most places. So, you know, take a walk outside and just like listen to what comes up. So I would say that’s number one. And number two is when I always tell people this, make sure there’s something on your to-do list that you’re interested in that is like, it excites you a little bit. Like something fun, something new, something different. We don’t try enough things and don’t do something because somebody else said to do it.

Laurie Wright: Do something that you’re like, Ooh, if something comes up in your life, like somebody mentions something to you and then, and then you see it and, and you maybe it, it, it’s like you see it three times. It, it’s then it’s a sign, it’s a sign from the universe. Try that, do that. If it’s peaking your curiosity and, and maybe that’s not the thing that’s gonna be the thing that you end up that, you know, the path that you walk, but it’s gonna, it might lead you. You might meet somebody when you go do that, or you might, yeah. You just don’t know. The universe is trying to get your attention to do something like that. And so that was the other thing is so awareness of what you’re doing and how it might be keeping you in the dark. And number two, start to pay attention to what’s around you and be aware of that. Those are the two easy things I think you could do.

Rita Black: Great, great ideas. Laurie. I know you have, I know if people wanna find out more about you, I know you also are offering, Laurie is offering, for those of you who are like, wow, I really wanna kind of dig a little deeper uncover some of these blocks. Tell us about your quiz. You have a quiz that I’m gonna have a link to in my show notes and I’ll also be sending out with my podcast email, those of you who get it. Tell us about your quiz.

Laurie Wright: Yes. So it is, I call it my empty nester quiz. And because you can find out the role you’re playing and I say, if you don’t have kids and you’re, you’re in this stage of life where you’re wondering, you can take it. I just speak to empty nesters because I can relate to them so well. But it is, you’ll forget to find out the role you’re playing. And it’s really important to, cuz you know, as we talked about earlier, the identity that you’re carrying is there, there’s patterns of behavior that are, you’re, you’re doing in your day-to-day, you’re operating in this way. And the sparked soul is one of them. I say specifically sparked second half soul to my people who come into my world, but it’s essentially a sparked soul. So it can apply to any age really.

Laurie Wright: But the goal is to be sparked to, to be reconnected with that soul that’s inside of you that knows what you’re here for. And then there’s five other roles and which are you? I don’t know. But one of the roles is busy doer. I was a busy doer and the busy doer has certain habits and certain ways of operating. Scared settler. I was a scared settler earlier. I, you know, these roles, you can I say, somebody asks me, can you be playing two roles? Sure. We play mom, we play wife, you know, but you know, look at the role, look at the, on the weekend. We can be, you know, busy doer. And during the week we can be a scared settler. We’re settling for a job we don’t want. So it’s just a very fascinating, you’re gonna have a primary one because when you test out, it’s gonna be, you know, which questions did you answer the most. And it’s gonna so tell you what that is. But it’s really fascinating and it’s, to me, the first step to the awareness that you need of. Okay, I’m doing these things. I understand. And I give you a little tip in the results of, okay, this is what you can do. This is what the best thing for you to do next is to do, you know, take this step. So yeah. That’s, it’s been so fun to do the quiz because it really does help people see where they are. And it’s, it’s very eye-opening. It, it’s, it’s definitely something that can really help people shift their ways.

Rita Black: Wow. I love it. And I hope so everybody’s hearing this. Go grab that quiz. Laurie, this has been so great and very eye-opening. I love this conversation with you and I’m and we all can stop and pause and think about this and get quieter. I think we can all do that. Any last words of inspiration for my audience before we say goodbye?

Laurie Wright: No, I just, I mean, I just think that everybody deserves to live the, from the most happiest place from a place of joy. And if you lack meaning in your life, you’re gonna lack joy. And, and so find what that joy is to you. And it’s something that is unique to you. You came here for a purpose and for a reason. And if you’re still here and you’re not feeling purposeful, then it’s there. It’s there inside of you trying to tell you. And so first of all, be patient, but start to take the action to find out what that is and believe that it’s possible that you can be anything and do anything in the time you have left. I would rather be spending my time pursuing a purpose, than sitting around thinking it’s not possible.

Rita Black: Right.

Laurie Wright: Watching other people pursue theirs.

Rita Black: I love what you’re saying is it’s never too late. I mentioned on this podcast earlier, but this is just, just wrote, what it speaks to what you’re saying is there’s on YouTube, maybe you’ve seen this woman, but she, at the age of 64, her husband told her she was overweight. She was Japanese woman, she’s on YouTube. It’s, and she at the age of 87 became a fitness trainer and she’s still training at 91, you know, training people. So this is like you, it’s never too late to step into what lights you up. So I love what you do. I love what you’re saying.

Laurie Wright: Yeah. I have people in their late seventies who have come into the second half spark school and

Rita Black: Oh, I believe it. Yeah.

Laurie Wright: One of ’em couldn’t, she couldn’t get outta bed. She was so depressed. And she was, she had a PhD in neuroscience, she was like a psychologist that helped people, but we just can’t get out of her own way sometimes.

Rita Black: Yes.

Laurie Wright: Yeah. And that was during Covid too, so there was a lot of stuff going on, where people were sheltered and it was very hard. But she had got all these great ideas about helping and got reconnected to who she was and what she was good at. Yeah.

Rita Black: It’s so powerful. And they do say the key to longevity is having a purpose to wake up two in the morning, you know?

Laurie Wright: Yep. You’re gonna live longer, that’s for sure.

Rita Black: Yeah. So it’s, it’s like a longevity drug finding your passion.

Laurie Wright: It is. It is.

Rita Black: So, yeah. So I hope this has sparked something within all of you today. Thank you, Laurie, for so, so much for coming on and opening up this part of our brain. I love it. And we’ll hope to have you back soon to talk about this more. But yes, thank you for coming to Thin Thinking today.

Laurie Wright: All right. Thanks for having me. It’s been great.

Rita Black: Thank you, Laurie. Now, if you are filling a little lack of purpose or you know, you have more in you that needs to get discovered and nurtured into existence, check out Laurie’s quiz. It’s in the show notes and just get started. And don’t forget, review us, you know, send us that picture of your review on the podcast platform of your choice when a free hypnosis weight loss download and a chance to win the Shift Out of Emotional Eating Program that is coming your way in July. Get a free copy of that program. Super exciting. So thanks again. Check that out. That’s in the show notes as well. The link to the, my email address to email me your review. Please go get that ritashiftweightmastery.com or check it out in show notes along with Laurie’s quiz and have an amazing week. And remember that the key and probably the only key to uncovering the weight struggle is inside you. So keep listening and find it. See you next week.

Rita Black: You wanna dive deeper into the mindset of long-term weight release, head on over to www.shiftweightmastery.com. That’s www.shiftweightmastery.com, where you’ll find numerous tools and resources to help you unlock your mind for permanent weight release tips, strategies, and more. And be sure to check the show notes to learn more about my book From Fat to Thin Thinking. Unlock Your Mind For Permanent Weight Loss.